Chapter 18
Perdita was lost in the amulet forever. That’s how Phoebe chose to remember the event. Rather than the bleak picture painted by Perdita being sucked into the shattered mirror glass. There had been too much mist and smoke to see what happened clearly anyway. Perdita was a part of that amulet now, just as it had been a part of her for so long.
Phoebe felt guilty. But worst of all, Prue had feelings of sorrow and disgust. How she had envied her and treated her appallingly all because of a man. A man who was non-existent of all things. Perdita was a complete stranger who had been so selfless. Prue was rueful.
“I should have done more for her. At least I wish I could have." Phoebe remarked with hesitation.
Don’t punish yourself Phoebe honey. It wasn’t your fault. Our destinies are already written. We can’t really change them. We can try that’s all. I didn’t know Perdita and I wish I could change that but I think she believed that strongly about destiny. Anyway she wouldn’t want us to be sad. Least of all you Phoebe.” Prue was trying to comfort her.
“No that’s my line Prue. After seeing the sorceress.. She told me to protect her and I stood there like a stuffed dummy. Helpless! In an instant she was gone. Taken from us. Snatched by unrelenting, cruel fate. She was one who died young. Before her time and that’s always sad. More than that, it’s wrong… The other night I thought about her and then I dreamed about her. Does that make sense? As if there was something my subconscious must be trying to tell me..or my conscience. Perdita knew the risks – I know that but to be locked somewhere, forever trapped in a lowly place. Like purgatory. She didn’t deserve that sort of an end; that cruel a fate. I can’t help but feel guilt. Remorse.” Phoebe was inconsolable.
“Here honey. Take this.” Piper handed Phoebe Perdita’s book of spells. Phoebe stepped back.
“I don’t want it.”
“Keep it safe like the treasure that it is. Perdita wanted you to have this just incase...well, just incase. She gave it to me that night we all rowed with Prue. It’s rightfully yours. She didn’t have anyone else. She wanted you to have it. Only you. So one day you’d look back and think of her fondly... Sometime.”
Phoebe glanced over at the book again and picked it up. She gave out a cry.
“What is it?” Prue asked.
“Nothing. I didn’t see anything. All I felt was a sudden, brief glimmer of happiness. Good vibes. When I wanted to see something, nothing came. But I don’t feel so sad anymore. I feel like Perdita touched me herself in the flesh and told me not to worry but to go on and be happy. Her spirit dwells within her book still." Phoebe smiled.
“Maybe that’s what we all should do. Remember her as the good friend she was and even the greater friend she would have been.” Thought Prue.
“There wasn’t anything you could have done honey,” Piper was so reassuring and so clinically right as usual.
Nothing could have been done to save Perdita. They had yet to learn Perdita had been there to defeat Sabroh. The only one who could have.
“Then somewhere along the way, my visions must have got confused with Perdita’s. Where I saw Prue she must have seen herself or something along those lines. It’s confusing I know, but it’s the only reason I can come up with. The only thing that sounds plausible to me.”
Phoebe showed them the amulet.
“It’s our symbol.”
“She was a part of us after all.” Prue admitted ruefully.
Tears welled in Phoebe’s eyes. For days she had been confused, angry. Thought wildly. Erratically. Knew she could have been more helpful. Then reality would set in again. Cold, frozen and permanent.
They both crowded Phoebe and hugged her tightly..
Time heals. But something like this would always be at the back of Phoebe’s mind. Imprinted forever like a story on a sad, sallow page. Tedious though the aftermath had been. Phoebe kept busy. She had to be in control. Rebuild her shattered life from losing a new friend, a cousin. Losing a part of her heart.
Phoebe placed the amulet around her neck. A permanent remainder of what could have been. All the fun they would have had. Perhaps Perdita’s favorite lines from her favorite book, A Tale of Two Cities would have served as a fitting epitaph to her memory, her life.
“It’s a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done. It’s a far,far better rest I go to than I have ever known.”
That night she had another dream. Minah appeared to her. To thank her for her quick thinking spell. With her brave act she had saved Perdita’s soul from the inescapable horror that would have been.
They were parted now, but one day would be together again. Reunited in a happier, mystical plane without earthly barriers to prevent their friendship from beginning anew. In a spiritual place without fear, anger or tears.
A smile lit Phoebe’s face as she tossed the covers back and turned over; back in her own room; with her sisters in the safety of Halliwell manor.
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