Once Upon A Time 5.16 "Our Decay" Review

                                               
This one was a bit of a hilarity, we jumped from the underworld to Oz, to Storybrooke, to Oz, etc as Zelena (Rebecca Mader) dealt with Dorothy (Terri Reeves) whom she thought was back in Kansas.  As she got hold of a CGI Scarecrow (Paul Scheer) cos she needed his brain and as we know from last season that was part of the object she needed to open the portal, what we didn't know, however is that Hades (Greg Germann) was part of the murkiness here which sort of disrupted her plans.  However she kept all that to herself whilst in Storybrooke.  Also what was the point of Hades retrieving the pages from the storybook when Zelena ended up here and told Regina (Lana Parilla) that Hades was in love with her.  Pointless!!

Ginnifer Goodwin) Snow and David find out from the witch (Emma Caulfield) at the diner that they can talk to Neal, at least they can "haunt" him and he'll hear their voices from ye olde Brit red phonebooth!  All she asks for is some living breath in a bottle cos it seals for a fortune!  Zelena has a green cupcake with a candle back in Oz, which she later tells Hades isn't for celebrating her birthday cos she doesn't even know when she was born.  No, she was just envying cupcakes and they turned green on her! Ha.  Actually she was celebrating when Cora left her and watched her through a magic mirror thingy when she abandoned her in the woods.  Then the scarecrow arrived for which they couldn't pay a real actor but they did for the voice!   But Dorothy arrived to save him.  Dorothy's grown up quickly, has developed a manly voice and even takes strides like a man too (see ep 5.18 with Ruby!)  Foiling her plans, she leaves with the scarecrow but the Munchkins don't know where she is.  A bit pointless again hiding out since we know from season 4 (and before) that scarecrow was doomed from the start, as was the cowardly lion and the scared Tin Man.

Hades arrives and tells his own sob story about having a brother who lives it up on Mount Olympus whilst he has a meagre existence having to collect souls in the underworld.  Jealous much?  They could exchange sibling stories til a new portal rears its head!  Why did Hades need a portal anyway when he could just blue smoke himself everywhere, as Zelena thinks he's trying to steal hers.

In the underworld Rumples (Robert Carlyle) was back at his spinning wheel cos his blood was needed to open a portal to Storybrooke, in which case why didn't Hades just use him and why didn't he use his blood to get Regina to open a portal without a curse in season 1.  And couldn't they use him to get back to Oz instead of Dorothy's slippers (see ep 5.18).

In Storybrooke we find Belle (Emilie de Ravin) feeding the babies cos the fairies couldn't and Zelena pretending to be the Blue Fairy (Keegan Connor Tracy).  She wanted to see her baby and even take her, but the portal opens and Belle is swept into it with Zelena jumping in after.  Zelena sprains her ankle and Belle wonders why the sky is red, and Zelena says she didn't open any portal.  Belle casually walking off with the baby.

Seems Belle doesn't recognize they're in Storybrooke and so didn't think of going to the apartment, but she went to the library instead, where she sees Rumple come out at the time.  Their meeting was only exposition on how he signed over his second child to Hades and that Belle was pregnant, though in reality don't know whys he didn't work this out herself!!  She be married now after all.  Anyhoo, he wasn't curious as to why Belle was left holding the baby again.  He also revealed he's the Dark One and has been for a long time.  He loves power, can't live without it and she can't make him choose cos he can have both.  He tells her she loves what he is cos he's not only a man but she also loves the beast within the man.  Which she basically knew since she met him.  She may have changed him, but he can't stay that way.  And he can't let the dark magic and the light magic overrun or combine together or something.

Hades takes Zelena on a bike ride on Dorothy's bike cos it was like 'Daisy Daisy give me your answer do' and he said he loved her.  The bike was spelled and took her right to Dorothy, camping out with the scarecrow who promptly had his rain snatched by Zelena and a moment ago in the underworld, she was bemoaning Belle snatching her baby!! Ha.  In the underworld Zelena asks why Robin (Sean Maguire) left their baby to come down here when he doesn't really do much.  Regina replying it's similar to how the people she hated were her family and they're all one big happy family now.  Trying to change Zelena with that speech wouldn't have worked.  Anyway they find Belle with the baby and Zelena also brought the milk bottle with her and wanted to bond.  With Robin bringing that to a close, how did he know the baby had enough milk anyway!!  Snatched the bottle from her!  Funny how her magic returned and then was taken away when she couldn't remove the rash from her baby, think Hades was behind that?  She gave the baby to Robin and he hid out in the woods cos Hades couldn't find him there, but he's meant to be aware of all their conversations and everything they do.

Henry (Jared Gilmore) has written pages in the book but he doesn't know how, he thinks they were written in his sleep as Regina calls the illustrations beautiful.  Is Henry really the author, didn't see him writing so much in his sleep, neither did the previous author.   Hades wines and dines Zelena in Oz cos he loves her and thinks he'll get true love's kiss or something, but she refuses cos he just wants her portal, which sounds rude!!  In the underworld he revealed that she always wanted what Regina had so he made this Storybrooke for her  but as they're in the underworld, it is all about the decay honey!  Nothing even grows here.  'Let's share the decay together!'  He also told her that her birthday is 15th April, he got that out of Cora before he peasant-ed her back!
Henry also gave Snow the pages showing they spoke with Neal and he heard them which was a relief.

Belle needed to face some home truths cos it appears she should have known what she was getting herself into with Rumples.  He was a beast and would always remain a beast, it was just who he was and quite frankly she knew the beast before she found out about the man so she must have had feelings for him then, not cos she thought she could change him and make him human at the same time.  whereas Zelena and Hades had no problems with who they were and what they wanted.
Note for later begging the question Hades tells Zelena he made Storybrooke for her and included everything here, which includes the sorcerer's house as it contained the storybook and his pages hiding his secret, why didn't he omit that.

Once Upon a Time 5.16 "The Brothers Jones" Review

                                                
Henry (Jared Gilmore) and Cruella (Victoria Smurfit) drive around talking the same thing again about how if he finds the quill and writes her alive, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) will no longer be a murderer, which he later tells Emma he knows she's felling guilt over.  Henry's met by the sorcerer's apprentice (Timothy Webber) who's still around here cos he's got unfinished business too.  Telling him that he can't rewrite anything but must only write the stories as they happen.  Henry thinking he can write what he likes, write how he wants cos he's the author now.  After much trepidation, or should that be repetition, he tells Henry the sorcerer's house is also here and he can find the quill there.

Emma was looking at Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) with sympathy and he said Hades (Greg Germann) took away his handsomeness.  She healed him but he didn't wanna snog cos he wasn't in the mood, rather he too was revelling in guilt, guilt over not being good enough for her.  Which was to be the theme of this ep.  That she shouldn't have saved him cos he's not worthy for her and well, let's see when he was alive he did nothing but chase her all through Storybrooke, Neverland and beyond, including when she was the Dark One.  His guilt also stems from the fact she as the Dark One was able to hold out on the darkness for so long, but he just buckled under and succumbed exacting revenge ASAP!  That was the nature of the ep being written like that and not by Henry either.

There's a knock at the door and brother Liam (Bernard Curry) arrives (incidentally let me say this now and get it out of the way, Liam is also an anagram for Mila!! Okay said it, funny how these names kind of go together, Lima his brother, Milah the woman he coveted and desired for so long, but couldn't get or keep.)

Flashback to Liam mentioning how their nameless and worthless father sold them into servitude but they have silver saved and will be out of their misery soon enough.  With the idea they can then join up into voluntary servitude in the King's navy!  Aye tis a better life on the high seas plundering for one's King and country instead of piracy!  Liam goes to enlist them, when nasty, smarmy Captain Silver, as in Long John, (Costas Mandylor) insists the drunken one stay behind, see demon drink was Hook's downfall even before he became a pirate and said captain also messes up their hard work of cleaning the deck by spilling some more poop on the deck!!  When he returns he finds Hook's gambled away his money to the captain who tricked him and got him drunk in the process too. Though not sure how much of that was actually voluntary on Hook's part.  Doesn't seem he put up much of a fight.  Just for that Liam has to stay behind with his brother.

Liam tells Emma that she's not good enough for Hook and she saved him when he had a hero's death and could'v gone to a better place.  Love means now't to him.  They get the idea that if they can find the storybook then they can find out Hades's plans and stop him.  Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) searches in the normal place but it's not in the suitcase.  So they have a look around the apartment with Liam and he tells her he'd prefer to see Hook in hell than with her.  Henry ends up telling them he knows where the book might be but they need the key to the house which is at the sheriff's.  Snow finds the key but Cruella returns for some "smooshin'" with James, so David (Josh Dallas) pretends to be him. After drinking and some snogging he realizes she already knew he wasn't James.  Unlike Snow who didn't realize how David kisses!  She tells him how James wants what he didn't have a mother's love.  he resents him cos David was chosen by his mother and James went to live in the palace.  Still waiting for David and James to meet!

Hades showed up where Liam tends bar, a bit like their father wasn't it, he became a barkeep too when he ran off.  Anyway he tells him he needs to get to the book and give him the pages about him from there, to which he has to agree.  So he's able to head there and open the door too since there's a protection spell, but it's cos Hades let him do that cos he also heads straight for the book and tore out the relevant pages.  It's also a secret deal Liam made with Hades.

Flashback to the captain leading them to the seas into a storm just to find the famous sapphire. Where Liam thinks the entire ship will be damned and the men too.  Thus he mutineers and the men follow. Hades is waiting for him below and tells him if he lets the ship into the storm, he'll let Liam and Hook live and also give him the sapphire.  He agrees cos they'd be doomed anyway.  He tells the others he won't give up searching for the book, a little too defensive.  Henry finds the quill.

Regina (Lana Parilla) tells Emma that she's too good for Hook and not the other way around.  Also at the house Emma knows Liam is up to no good and spots the ink on his hands which she tells Hook about, but he won' look cos he doesn't believe his brother is anything but honourable.  Well he's forgotten the old mantra, like father like son.  Also we had some banter with Emma and Liam about the ring that he gave her which was Liam's and cos he was in awe of his brother's honour.  Hook then looks at his hands, spots the ink which is a bit of a quandary as to why he had ink from the storybook anyway unless it was just written, which it wasn't but before they had time to do much arguing, the captain and the crew turned up for what Liam had done and wanted revenge.  Ending up at that cliff edge again and wanted them to walk the hell plank, but Hades whisked the captain into the hellfire instead, as well as throwing Liam down there too.

However Liam returned on a boat and a ship was anchored waiting for him.  He redeemed himself and he and the sailors could leave.  Hook still having his unfinished business to deal with.  So it was farewell to Liam and hopefully that was the last we see of him.  Liam telling Hook he was a much better man than him (forgetting he was a pirate and yes he did kill, including their father, which he neglected to mention).  Leading Hook to get back to Emma and have that well deserved snog he refused earlier on!  Ha.  Oh and will miss Hook's funny ponytail too!!

David tried to speak with Henry who was hiding out in a room that wasn't really his considering there were so many there and "acting like a teenager."  Was that cos he doesn't have much control over the storybook, or he tends to be forgotten a lot and then preached to plenty!

Hades we find was hiding a pic of him and Zelena together.  That was his big secret.  Not liking the fact that as an author Henry has no dramatic licence at all and can't just rewrite stories, instead of what is actually happening!  What promised to be an interesting ep from the title, didn't turn out that way.  Of course we know even if Hook was a pirate he was much better than his brother.  He actually felt guilt and remorse at what he did, but also he's a far more interesting character.  Anyhoo plenty of Hook bias from me!  Ha.  Hook: "Hades kind of knocked the handsome out of me."
Emma; "no one's that powerful"  Too true he didn't even lose the handsome when he was dark!!

The Vampire Diaries 7.19 "Somebody That I Used to Know" Review

                                                  
Another ep jumping from one time period to another, so it's not even worth writing the dates at all! As Damon (Ian Somerhalder) still doesn't get to apologize to Bonnie (Kat Graham) she doesn't want him to, she won't forgive him, so there's no point.  Still Enzo (Michael Malarkey) thinks he could help them with finding a cure for her and to this end, they think Rayna (Leslie-Anne Huff) could help.  She wants them to hunt down the vampires she's making a list of that escaped from the phoenix stone and then Bonnie thinks she will give up her last immoral life for her.  Which Enzo and Damon try to sell her on the idea of.  That she can enjoy one last day without any vampire voices in her head. That's easier said than done, since it was apparent she wasn't going to let them have their way and die with just a few choice vampires out of the way on her list.  Clearly she was going to lead them on a runaround and make them do all her dirty work for her.  It wasn't about spending her time alone,e eating a cheeseburger and watching the ocean.

During this time, Bonnie and Enzo got close as he kept her in a secluded cabin as she kept taking a pill a day so the Armoury couldn't find her.  Getting closer since she tells Damon he was the only one who hid her and protected her and is the reason why she's dying, which is what Damon also told her. She still has the letter Damon wrote her as a reminder that she couldn't trust him.  As we know, Damon wanted to desiccate so his friends wouldn't get hurt everytime they needed to help him or protect him.  Enzo also reminding Bonnie that he left him too in a burning cage, after the five years they spent together in the Augustine prison.  It's just what he does.  Even if he thinks he's doing the right thing.

Stefan (Paul Wesley) pays call on Caroline (Candice King) but she's not there and notices a Justice of the Peace pencilled for their wedding in Alaric's (Matt Davis) diary.  She's not there but Stefan wants to see her anyway.  Alaric reminding him he left her without any explanations and didn't even send her a postcard.  Stefan thinks it should be her choice whether she wants to see him or not.  On top of this, Damon enlists their help to find the vampires, he doesn't want to see Damon, but it's for Bonnie, so they agree to help.  Alaric doesn't appear to be secure in his relationship with her.

Alex (Mouzam Makkar) finds Enzo and tells him she needs Bonnie's help to open the vault cos her other sister, Yvette got locked in when Lucy Bennett sealed it.  In return she'll do everything to save Bonnie, yeah I wouldn't believe her.  She still has her team looking for her.   So after taking out the vampires, Damon goes to confront Rayna and has to knock her out, cos she's made a whole new list for them to kill.  Which covers the entire walls of the basement.  See not like she will hunt them when she has them to do it for her.

Stefan tells Alaric he didn't want this to turn out like this and sees Caroline who has nothing to say to him.  Kisses Alaric on the cheek and goes to read the twins a bedtime story.  Stefan commenting on how she's in a second bedroom.  Alaric replies she may not love him but they are together.  Not much going on in this ep just a chase around hunting the escaped vampires.  Bonnie seems to have only a week to live with the scars appearing and will happily die if she can't be saved but knowing that Enzo did things for her and will be by her side.  For someone who wasn't interested in talking with Damon, she was peeved he didn't even bring her favourite flowers with him.

Longmire 4.3 "High Noon" Review

                                               
Episode opens with a man doing some digging and taking samples when Nighthorse (A Martinez) chances upon him and he introduces himself as a ranger, Bob Barnes (John Bishop) weeding out the non-native plants.  When Nighthorse tells him to clear off his land.  He reports back to Walt (Robert Taylor) who only got him the job cos it's part of the court order and tells him those yellow sunflower type flowers are growing on his property.   As Walt tells Vic (Katee Sackhoff) to get warrants to search Nighthorse's property.  He gets a call from Ruby (Louanne Stephens) about a black SUV swerving across the road.  Which just happened to be Barlow (Gerald McRaney) so he takes him home.  Though Barlow doesn't have any Rainier.

Of course there were plenty of instances of foreshadowing here indicating Barlow had a hand in killing Branch. Didn't we see that text message already on Branch's phone and they didn't find anymore messages on his phone he'd sent to Barlow, did they, other than the ones he was supposed to have sent Cady (Cassidy Freeman).  When Walt was at Barlow's house and he took his keys for the other car, nice zoom onto the gun with the pearl handle, which was relevant, cos when Walt later comes back it's missing.  Not that Walt would've noticed of course, but we were meant to.

On top of that it was just convenient for Walt to reveal to Barlow that Nighthorse probably killed Branch, which was crazy for him to do.  Know it's a small town and all that, but why give away things he has no evidence for, even if he wanted to do things the right way.  It was like painting a bull's eye on himself for Barlow to do as he pleases and come to think of it for Nighthorse too.  As for the empty can of Rainer that Vic found where Nighthorse was shot from, it didn't automatically mean it was Walt.  Really he's the sheriff, why would he leave incriminating evidence behind if he was there and on top of that she messed up on any evidence on the can, not that there would be and Walt did the same when he did who knows what with it, just threw it out?  Maybe Barlow just took an old can he found of Walt's instead.

The judge refuses to grant the warrant based on the flower cos he's got those flowers growing too and  so did Barlow and Walt refuses a burger with Vic as he drives away.  Next day Nighthorse throws a press conference stating that Walt shot at him on his property.  But not before Mathias (Zane McClarnon) pays a call wanting to check out Walt's guns.  Nighthorse doesn't live on the reservation so he hasn't any jurisdiction to investigate and also Walt refuses to show him the guns.  So the FBI will be in touch with him.  Also Vic hides out cos she doesn't want to tell him anything.  Henry (Lou Diamond Phillips) calls and Ferg (Adam Bartley) tells him he wasn't on duty so he doesn't know where Walt was.  As Walt tells Vic Nighthorse's property is now a CS and they can search it, as he arrives with yellow tape.  Nighthorse accuses him and Walt accuses him of firing the shots himself to set him up.

Walt wants Ferg to take soils samples and look for bullets, blood, anything that will show this is where Branch was killed.  The only thing Vic finds is the empty Rainier can.  Barlow asks for his phone and Walt retrieves it, was thinking those gloves with Walt's blood would've been used later on against him, but okay I was wrong.  Vic shows him the can and tells him she'll lie for him but she needs to know what's happening and telling him about Cady and the info she found.  Cady can't tell Walt anything she knows without being sued, but tells him what she talked about with Barlow, including the text messages, but Barlow doesn't have any from Branch on his phone.

Barlow thinking he had things nicely planned when he mosied on over to Walt's place ready and waiting for him.  It was like Cady gave things away and played right into his hands when she was trying to get info from Barlow about Branch and what he was working on.  Then Walt said it too, the suicide note could only have been written by someone who knew Branch and the fact that he and Cady were no longer together, which came as news to Barlow.  When he was standing there with the poker there was definitely fire in his eyes and the scent of murder in the air, cos if she'd said anything different she'd probably have been next.  That was the moment that sealed his fate though, it was confirmation Barlow was behind it all!

Other instances of foreshadowing were the scenes with Walt and the knife when he cut the belt off Barlow, then Barlow looking around at the rifle in Walt's Bronco.  Setting up Walt to take the fall for shooting at Nighthorse.  Did you see it as a reveal when Walt realizes Barlow killed his wife, had Ridges' kill her.  Kind of new that was coming a few seasons ago, even as far back as season 1, with   the implication that there might be more between Barlow and Martha.  But really Barlow killing his ow son cos he got too close to the truth and found out Barlow and Nighthorse were friends and angling for the casino to go ahead.  Or was it more for thinking Branch had found out about this and other things, thinking Branch was working for Walt.

As for telling Walt he'd have a hard time explaining the empty gun and shooting an unarmed man, well he wasn't to know that and the knife would've had Barlow's prints on it so Walt shouldn't have removed that.  Though I do think Walt got some satisfaction for shooting Barlow, a little revenge, a little closure for both Martha and Branch; but more so Barlow couldn't live with himself for killing Branch.  It came across that way and even if he wanted more money and the casino to go ahead, it would've been poor comfort to him now.  He was almost angling for "suicide by cop" cos he couldn't do it to himself.  So much for all the macho posturing about Barlow's not being able to take their own lives.

As for Cady and her job was she genuinely offered that job by Walter Mashburn (from The Mentalist ha) er, Kevin Morris (Currie Graham) or was he told to offer it to her; cos if it just came out of the blue, then it was pretty coincidental or timely for Cady to have seen all those documents with the firm working for Nighthorse against Barlow.  Yeah too convenient, but as a lawyer she should've known the best way to get information would be from somewhere else if she was bound by a confidentially agreement. She shouldn't have needed Vic to tell her.  Don't know what Cady was thinking working for the smarmy lawyer but she thought it a chance to stop waitressing and get a salary worth something. Heck I wouldn't have worked there.  Why doesn't she start her own firm.

Now comes the good part with Walt having to dodge everything under the sun, not that he hasn't been doing that already since he's been sheriff, in the Barlow investigation.  Liked Walt's story about his boots not fitting him and hurting him that he told Henry and didn't touch the beer.  Appropriate title too, though it was more of a showdown than a shootout!

Once Upon A Time 5.14 "Devil's Due" Review

                                           
As Hook (Coilin O'Donoghue) didn't do what Hades (Greg Germann) wanted in engraving the graves, he transports him to a place far worse through the River of Lost Souls and there he suspends him from chains, to be lowered into the river, eventually.  Ay me hearty, Hook was already a lost soul when we first met him, seeing as the pirate's life wasn't such a good one after all.  But anyway, yeah thought Dean in hell once again in Supernatural here, when he was all chained up and calling for help, but no help came.  Hook will be more fortunate then.  Hades was just jealous cos he couldn't stand looking at Hook's devilishly handsome features and his hair!!

In order for Hook to be rescued and for Gold  (Robert Carlyle) to get back to Belle (Emilie de Ravin) after seeing her through a crystal ball which he subsequently breaks, he had to enlist the help of Milah (Rachel Shelley).  Well hello dearie, you're now a crossing guard, making sure children cross the road safely, but you ran out on your son also!  Gold introduces her to an awkward meeting with Emma (Jennifer Morrison) who was not only with her former lover (and still is) but also with her son and there's nothing like nepotism and keeping it within the family.  Though Hook isn't related to them.  Oh and forget to mention she bore Milah's grandson too!! Rumple had found a boat to take them out of the underworld after they rescued Hook and Milah stayed behind to guard it with him.

Then appeared Hades and made a deal with Gold, get rid of the boat so they can't make it out and also revealed that he knows Belle is pregnant, no wonder Gold wanted to high tail it out of there. Especially after the flashback to where Bae was left alone whilst the two bickered and Bae was bitten by a poisonous snake as a child and they had to find a cure.  Gold couldn't kill the man with the cure, Fendrake the Healer (Aaron Douglas) but made a deal to give him his second son, cos dearie he wasn't gonna have anymore children.  Milah was angry with him cos he put a kerb on her having anymore children and ran off with Hook, whom she met in a tavern and still propositioned her to run off with him even if she was married.  "I'm in port very often, luv!"  That would've been tempting enough!  Still she could've had little Hookers with Hook!  Ha.

Gold also sent Milah into the river cos she knew his deal with Hades, as Emma was taking an awful long time bringing Hook back out, yeah have a reunion there when you're still in danger and miss all the action outside.  Hook was surprised to hear Milah was here and then was no longer around! Didn't he think she may have been here especially since she had unfinished business too and now we won't know what that was.  Gold pretending that Hades got rid of the boat and Milah too.  So no awkward meeting with the threesome and Hook having to say he loved (loves) Milah his one true lost love (who's now lost in the river of souls) and he wanted revenge for the last 300 years, but he's got  Emma now.

Regina (Lana Parilla) found Daniel's grave but she'd also learned from Cruella (Victoria Smurfit) that if a gravestone stands up it means unfinished business, if it's flat down then they're not in the underworld and if it's cracked to bits, well there's no hope!  She then helped a horse back in town and found her magic was working.  But she couldn't take Emma's heart and split it into two giving Hook the other half.  Wasn't her magic though was it, it was the underworld after all and having to prolong them being there.  Of course maybe her love for him isn't that strong after all, or his for her, okay I had to to add that in.
I'll forget about the awkwardness of writing Milah over and over then!! Ha.

They find Hades has been busy engraving the gravestones himself with the names of Snow, Regina and Emma, apparently he wanted the women to remain behind.  See Hook that's what you did when you didn't pick, he could've picked the men and left the women which he could've had all to himself in true pirate fashion!  But the worst was yet to come for Gold as Fendrake and the one he'd killed as the Crocodile had signed over his contract to Hades, thus he was going to get Gold's second born child now!

Once Upon A Time 5.13 "Labor of Love" Review

                                            
Obviously the title being in reference to Hercules and his twelve labours.  As Snow (Gennifer Goodwin) meets up with him again.  Anyway this one showcases Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) also as he steps down some steps after a fellow captive tells him not to do it cos he'll come after them.  Hook of course wouldn't listen to her and he tells her to run and escape, to find Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and tell her where he is as he saw Emma's message to him.  That wasn't immediately apparent from this scene. Huh?  Anyway Snow and David (Josh Dallas) are walking around the graves when she notices Hercule's (Jonathan Whitesell) name and then flashback.  Snow (Bailee Madison) when a girl sitting with Regina (Lana Parilla) at her throne and her people demanding help.  Snow can only reply that her father is on a diplomatic mission and is powerless to help.  See that glint in Regina's eye cos we know that she's behind the peasant's almost revolt with her thugs terrorizing them.

Oh forgot to say Snow fell into a hole and was rescued by none other than Hercules, a mere whisper of a would-be demi-god and they instantly become best pals, cos here he teaches her how to shoot a bow and arrow and train her, much the same as Mulan did with Merida!! Don't these royal children have natural skills and abilities of their own then?  He tells her about his labours and how he's only a demi-god and his first labour of killing the lion.

In the underworld Regina says she would have had plans of Storybrooke in her office and that would give them clues on where else to search for Hook, as Henry (Jared Gilmore) goes off with Robin (Sean Maguire) cos he knows her office inside and out.  Storybrooke was the product of Regina's curse and she even made blueprints and plans for the town, hmm, must've pooffed those up in a smokey mist too.  She and Emma run into the girl who's being chased by the three headed hell hound, Cerberus, cue Supernatural hellhound lore territory here!  Snow finds Hercules at the docks tasked with moving around paper mache anchors and large blocks and the heels on those shoes, Dean Winchester would be jealous, just joking, I think!  ha.  As she tells him all her life story and he can't believe she's a grandma and he hasn't aged cos obviously he's dead.  She wants him to help with Cerberus not knowing that was the labour he couldn't failed cos he was killed by it.  Obviously uncle Hades (Greg Germann) having a hand in it.  He couldn't fight three heads at once!  Hook and Hades have words about how they can't really kill each other and he continues to torment Hook with his boring comments!!  Couldn't they find a better Hades??  Not a fan of Greg Germann, he always acts the same no matter what character he's playing.  This must be a harkback to Ally McBeal: the failed comedy years!

Snow takes on the thugs and fails miserably as she can't reach for another arrow and drops them all, as well as falling to the ground in shame herself.  Needing another helping hand from Hercules.
In the underworld Emma, Snow and Regina went down the mines to find Cerberus and let Hercules take care of the hound but he gives up and runs away.  What was the problem, he was already dead wasn't he, so wouldn't die again or was it seeing his awful uncle again.  Hades having a fun time showing Emma Hook's hook.

Henry crawls into the office through the vent and finds Cruella (Victoria Smurfit) there apparently taken over from Cora, she wants him to use his author skills and write her back into the living which he can do cos even if he broke the quill, it's still a living entity and he can fix things.  Which Henry doesn't tell Robin about.  If he re-writes her death then Emma won't be a murderer anymore.  So that means Henry can do the same for everyone else, re-write everything we've seen and everyone can be good and as pure as the driven snow, including Hook not killing his father.

Regina tells Snow how she was kickass as Snow and so she drops the Mary Margaret and Snow adding there's nothing like getting help from her former enemy in Regina!  And decides she's going to help Hercules kick some hellhound heads, even roping in Megara (Kacey Rohl) to help.  As back in her land, Snow kicks the thugs asses out of her kingdom.   Hellhound gets stabbed and vanishes. Hercules and Megara later do some bonding in the diner and also get to climb the steps to Mount Olympus.  Still Snow doesn't tell David she and Hercules snogged, minor plot point, she probably went round kissing all her friends, so she shared her first ever kiss with ol' Hercs!

Hades was still tormenting Hook to the point where Hook's hair kept standing on end in despair, but no, loving Hook's hair and told him he had to engrave three names on the grave of the three people he wants to remain behind, well he could've started off with Gold!  Then Robin and anyone else who was still here who he didn't know about but could've guessed, like maybe his father.  But downside was, they had to be living!  Hook refused.  Uh oh more torturing for him then with Hades' excruciating jokes!  Emma bought her woolly hat with her, maybe she could hide Hades's blue light CGI hair under it!

Once Upon A Time 5.12 "Souls of the Departed" Review

                                            
Emma (Jennifer Morrison) has a dream about seeing Neal (Michael Raymond-James) and how he's moved on and is in a happy place now, guess he got his happy ending then and he knows she wants to get Hook (Colin O'Donohue) back.  Then wakes up in a Storybrooke which which as all red filters and the clock tower lies broken on the ground.  Finally something destructive happened to that clock seeing as everything took place there. This is the Storybrooke as seen in the underworld, or created there.

In the Enchanted Forest, Regina (Lana Parilla) tries a berry pie which has been made for her birthday and is about to wreck some more of her havoc until Snow (Gennifer Goodwin) arrives to save the day again.  The best birthday gifts were yet to come, as her father wanted Regina to stop her nonsensical quest for power and revenge and summoned Cora (Barbara Hershey) with the help of Regina's mirror, (Giancarlo Esposito) from Wonderland.  She came to make things worse for everyone and she did what no one else could do, took Snow's heart and gifted it in a box to Regina.  Regina couldn't resist crushing the heart of her rival, only one of her guards carked it instead, as daddy dear had switched hearts.  He doesn't have magic, so how was he able to do this, did he raid Regina's vault or something.  Which made her even more angry cos no matter how much she loves him, she still exacted her revenge on him by shrinking him and placing him in the box instead and then showing off her new miniature to Cora.

Regina finds a new boss in her seat, none other than Cora, only she can't be in charge of the underworld cos not even OUAT would dare change the story of the underworld and Hades.  Anyway didn't she become good or something or was that not done, after Snow crushed her heart too.  See Snow got her revenge on Cora doing that to her, well at least for taking her heart.  Not so much crushing it.
At the diner Snow looks for Hook, as do the others and meets with the wicked blind witch (Emma Caulfield) from Hansel and Gretel who now cooks there.  Er, does she serve up departed children. Was that some sort of a terrible Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett pie moment.  (See connection: Regina and pies, oh never mind!)   When Snow is kissed and doesn't recognize true love's kiss anymore it seems, cos she didn't realize that was James and not David!  Cue David (Josh Dallas) as he leaves and nothing else was spoken!  So he's going to be David's unfinished business perhaps, or not, since it appears everyone roaming the underworld hasn't had their chance at putting things right.

Cora wants Regina to be safe and tells her to leave otherwise she'll have to burn the one person she loves the most, that being her father, Regina having found Henry Mills' grave.  But no one had still located Hook, cos this was being dragged out as far as possible, you'd have thunk they'd have wanted to drag out him being dark, sorry that only lasted two eps, would've been good to have seen for longer.

Gold walks on over to the pawn shop and there he forlornly looks at the chipped teacup and also his father's doll!  Well Pan (Robbie A Kay) shows up.  He wants to get back home and asks Rumples to do this just by ensuring one of the people he came here with doesn't make it back, or he can piggy back on them or something.  Though they haven't really mentioned their unfinished business, isn't he supposed to get redemption, ask for forgiveness for being younger looking than his own son and move on to the light.  Guess that wasn't happening.  He gives Gold some magic potion on the house, enabling people to talk to their dead when poured onto their graves; so later on he can say there were strings attached to it and not just in the Pinocchio sense either.

This potion didn't work for Hook who was tortured to the nines, but Regina could speak withe her father and also introduce his grandson Henry (Jared Gilmore) to him.  Giving her some more of his wisdom of how she can't leave here without her friends and now she's turned that corner and isn't like Cora, she listens to him, for once.  He must've been proud.  A stairway to heaven (can I say that) appears as Cora vanishes when Regina decides she will stay and her father leaves for a better place. Well that was easy.  So if Hook hadn't done all that he did after going dark and ending up in the underworld after dying, their loves ones would have been suffering still.  Hmm so turns out they had him do something meaningful.  As Regina returned to the clock tower, the hand moves a minute thus symbolizing a soul had been taken to its rightful place with Regina smiling, she did something right.

Funny scene must've been Jimmeny Cricket popping out of Snow's corset and what prithee tell was he doing there??  Just as Regina crushes her heart! Seriously what was the purpose of this scene if not for comic effect?   That potion was "the Ale of Seonaidh from the land of Dunbroch" as Gold tells them, back there again hey.  What would they do without the wee Scots.

Then the reveal of Hades (Greg Germann) not very exciting and Cora being turned back into the peasant that she was, for failing to do her job, as if that could possibly be the worst of her worries.  I just miss the Guyliner quotes!!  It must be saying something about this show now when I only watch for Hook!! and Regina too of course, but mostly Hook!!

Once Upon A Time 5.11 "Swan Song" Review

                                                
Regina (Lana Parilla) having confronted Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) about his secret she knew when he was a pirate and when she used him as a test when she wanted her mother killed by him, reminds him here that the secret is what he needs to face.  As they stand poised at the lakeside and Hook going to send Emma's (Jennifer Morrison) whole family to hell.  In fact it was all to do with the Dark Ones alighting their ferry and going through the town marking people which meant the Dark Ones would each take over a living person's soul.  As Rumple (Robert Carlyle) explained how they'd be ferried to the underworld when the moon was full. This included Rumple too and as he gave Belle (Emilie de Ravin) her dream ticket out of Storybrooke, he said she should leave, live her dream and see the world, cos there's a whole world out there.  Well there's plenty of worlds out there in all sorts of realms.

Emma decided the only one she could save everyone was if she took all of the Dark Ones powers into the sword and then killed herself with it, making the ultimate sacrifice to save everyone.  Which was a bad idea, but she knew Regina would understand and even help her.  She decides to leave a note for her family when they're all meant to be having a farewell meal at the the diner, sort of a last family supper together and doesn't turn up, and heck they didn't even notice.  That's cos Snow (Gennifer Goodwin) decided she didn't want to stick their last moments together into a book and would rather spend it with her family.  Wondering who would look after baby Neal, well Emma would still be around, left holding the baby.  Somehow couldn't picture that.  Rumple even gave Emma the sword, no questions asked, adding she was brave (wrong film/show) and he would part with it cos he wouldn't have to make any such sacrifices.

We get a flashback to Hook when he was a wee lad by the name of Killian and how his father told him he needs to make a choice of the sort of man he wants to be.  Before deserting his two sons and basically selling them off to slave away on a ship.  As Regina takes Hook to the inn where she tells him there's a man he needs to take care of first.  Whereupon he's confronted by a tall man who she knocks down with a spell.  It's the barkeep, none other than his worthless father.  He wants revenge on him too, seems his whole life is one chapter fuelled and filled by revenge after another and it probably started the moment he was sold as a worthless piece of meat, or "soiled" goods!!  Anyway father has a sob story of how he's learned his lesson after falling foul of a sleeping curse, is a changed man and how the woman who nursed him changed him and became his wife, then succumbed to a plague.  They have a son now and Hook ensures safe passage for him and his son by getting them letters of transmit.  For a moment there I thought were magically portalled to Casablanca here!!  Ha.  "Save me Rick..." we need those letters of transit.

As Hook brings them by, he overhears his father tell his son the same thing he told Hook and also hears him call him Liam, which he says was out of honour for his brother and not a betrayal.  Hook can stand his lies no more and actually kills him!  This is the secret he and Regina shared all those years and she tells him not to do the same again.  Not to sacrifice Emma's family like that.  Anyway why did Regina need Hook to kill Cora when she had magic and could've done it herself and as I recall didn't Hook have a thang for Regina too!

In Storybrooke Regina does one final thing in ridding her sister and sending her back to Oz, using that "withered knob of that sad, old man" aka the sorcerer's apprentice, language Zelena!!  (Rebecca Mader) As she tried to cling onto the clock tower for dear life, see everything happens in that clock tower, it may as well be labelled the foreshadowing tower instead or something.

Anyway back at the lake, Hook still wanted revenge on Emma for how she changed him and for saving his life, even when she said she loved him, but that was what he used to say, not so much actually.  Hook then realizes what he's doing wrong and he decides to make the sacrifice himself by taking all of the Dark Ones into the sword and then Emma stabbed him with it.  Kind of defeating the purpose of her saving him to begin with, when all this could've been avoided and heck Merlin would still be around too.  Proving her actions to save her lost love were hasty and pointless (no pun!)  Then Emma transformed back and lost that awful hair, as the paramedics arrived and didn't wonder how he got that gaping wound in his neck which ultimately killed him!  (Again!)

Belle returns and realizes what Gold was doing in sending her away before they had a stint of making up to do.  Emma confronting Gold about what he did when he admits he took apart Excalibur with a spell and still has the dagger, thus becoming the Dark One again, cos it's always about power and never about love and no you can't have both, Gold wanting to remain the Dark One, so much for his pure heart, which he just needed to be saved so he could go back to his evil ways again.  Emma agrees to keep his secret if he takes them to hell,  so she can do a rehash of what Snow did for David (Josh Dallas) by giving him half his heart and bring back Hook to life.

It was good to see how evil Hook was as a pirate cos what's the ultimate thing he could've done to become like that (or even more darker) he got revenge on his father for deserting his children.  A little aside to how Rumple deserted Bae too in the hopes of becoming the Dark One and for power.  Hook's descent into darkness could be understood better with this flashback since he had already killed his father and on top of that we can see why it was so easy for him to have also killed Merlin when he was dark.  Consequently, it was also easy to see why he sacrificed himself, cos killing wasn't an honourable thing to do especially when he had come so far in his transition.  Thus the sacrifice was his one final act of redemption and in turn saving not only Emma but her family too.

The downside of this was that Hook didn't have to make that sacrifice after all and Gold was back as Rumple, though a tad confusing.  His descent from hero to villain once again was as dramatic and as fast as Hook becoming dark.  Hook had his reasons and Gold just wanted power cos he saw what being powerless really meant and how vulnerable he was, at everyone's mercy.

An interesting ending though Emma once again has to suffer Hook dying and as for wielding the sword, this was something she would've wanted Regina to do with the dagger, only she ended up doing that herself.