Lost The Art of Staying Lost Book Two by Sakshi Narula Review

"Feelings of bleak euphoria, building on a high with so much emotion conveyed in every word.  Then falling  down to earth with a realistic thud."  - My words.

Lost The Art of Staying Lost Book Two transcends all the words and expressions you have ever read in other poetry. Conveyed with so much depth and feeling there's a real sense of loss, futile love that burned with golden embers.  Then fizzled out with a break up.  Parting, suddenly, going away.  Not so much as losing someone to death, or bereavement.  Although it could well be, but more betrayal. Betrayed by love, a lover.  Building up hope,of fulfillment and promise. A risky beginning, lasting for eternity only to have it shattered into a thousand shards.  

Uns demonstrates being love sick, the body behaving and mimicking the symptoms of bodily ailments which feel akin to having all your emotions and heart ripped. Replaced with emptiness.  Watching the world from the inside out whilst others are oblivious.  Seen also in Chenab "Nerves, skin, heart tongue and bones that ached for more so bad that I had forgotten I exist.  My jaws have been in pain..."

Love comes in all shapes, love of parents, love of children, loss too.  As well as a soul mate. That one true, pure love who will have the same feelings and love for you.  Then suddenly it's gone. Was it ever real.  

Healing poem made me think of loss, the loss of losing a father, mine.  Perhaps that wasn't the intention, being about a lover; but to me it spoke of heartfelt grief when life is cheated by unexpected death.  In many ways akin to the passing of love and all the enrichment it brings to our lives.  Providing a semblance, a brief segment of closure.

Octopus asks if those we have lost feel the same pain, or are we just a distant memory, a passing phase of the moon.  Do lovers just move on, carefree?  Questions not asked by me.  Since most of us don't want to waste our time on someone we can't have.  

Sakshi Narula writes from the heart, that much is true and has the marvellous and creative ability to paint pictures with her words.  You feel you are there in the moment of each impossible heartbeat and you can't do anything to rescue yourself  the inevitable.  

Interspersed with excellent artwork by that spatters the page akin to the ink from an octopus; with the vividness of a bleeding heart and mind.  A talented poet with a natural artistry to convey anguish with every sentence. Personal experiences and growing up in India give a sense of belonging.  As shown by To Bury A Love Story. 

Take a breath for more roller coaster rides. Interspersed with written notes providing a break from the deepness of each poem and a reprieve of being a solid, continuous chunk, with drawings, mirroring hope and darkness. In ink, ink blobs maybe to decipher our own darkness and limits to overcome.

I was mesmerized and absorbed in such beautiful and eloquent sentiments that I read in one sitting.  I'm sure everytime I re-read it will spark and invoke more reactions.  I enjoyed how the poems interweave into one another with vivid pictures of being so lost, heartbroken and having everything ripped, affecting the mind, body and soul equally.  The personification of love's misfortune is immensely lifelike.

Lost The Art of Staying Lost releases 25th January Amazon 

Goodreads  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/18412790.Sakshi_Narula

Amazon       https://www.amazon.com/Sakshi-Narula/e/B07H2XHP7L?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1610869003&sr=1-1

Doctor Who Revolution of the Daleks

The Daleks return and each time they do , they have their metallic butts kicked across the galaxy and beyond, but how gullible were they to answer a call thinking it's their own kind.  We find a Dalek remnant is stolen when transported by GCHQ and of course it had to be an inside job, as we know.  But stopping for coffee breaks, I mean get yourself a big flask.  MP Patterson (future PM) (Harriet Walter) gets Jack Robertson (Chris Noth) to make it into a high powered metal security machine, aka tin can is what I thought of.  But anyway it's all cos Britain needs security!!  Job security, security from everything really, even shoddy, bungling MPS and PM!  So year later she's elected PM (parody of the Tories right there, would-be Margaret Thatcher ha.)  As Robertson is 3D printing out Daleks to police the streets.  Which apparently was accepted by the Brits and none of these freedom loving sods kicked up a storm about freedoms being overtaken by AI, or having such eyesores on their streets.  But yeah accept it and move on!  Should've had giant, metal spiders instead, that'd really get the masses showing their arachnophobia.  Wait been there, though not metallic! 

Remember during the first lockdown, how there was a video tweet on Twitter where a lone Dalek patrolled the street, wonder who saw that and thought this would be a good idea, part premise for a Doctor Who ep.  Best moment had to be PM being exterminated, short lived prime ministership!! Ha.  If only art mimicked real life, or rather vice versa, wouldn't life be grand.

Scientist Leo (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) reveals to Robertson how he was working on something else after he found a smidgen of organic matter and he cloned it.  Cue Dalek conscious and Robertson thinks it's ugly, funny that he didn't think the spiders were revolting!  Anyhoo he wants it incinerated and Leo's loathe not do it but opens the cage instead of just throwing the entire thing into the fire.  Dalek takes him over and he is taken away to Osaka, Japan where the Dalek had the intelligence to set up a factory mass producing Daleks, all funded by Robertson, funny this got past him and his accounts department!!  

Yaz (Mandip Gill) is firmly of the belief that the Doctor (Jodi Whittaker) is out there somewhere and she's left clues for them to find her.  Ryan (Tosin Cole) and Graham (Bradley Walsh) can't believe she's been doing all this and sleeping in the TARDIS too.  Thinking they should find a way of taking it and finding her.  As we see the Doctor imprisoned on the the Rock, ha, the prison planet rock.  In the same old groundhog day routine where she sees a Weeping Angel caged, Bonnie and Clyde and the P'ting too.  As she tells him he can't eat the cage cos she's tried, not surprised with the dry, yuk stuff she was being fed.  Funny the Weeping Angel being there, what crime did it commit, cos weren't they all evil anyway.  This one was imprisoned.  Miss those Angels! 

Eventually Capt Jack (John Barrowman) comes along to rescue her, as her routine is disrupted by his new face.  He has a device which will form a bubble (if only we could really use these) which will break through the walls, where he takes her away with his Vortex bracelet.  She's been there 19 years, but Earth time is 10 months.  As she thanks him and it took him committing several crimes to end up in the prison.  She returns to the TARDIS and is eager to see her fam again, who are following leads on Robertson and they think they can get into his office if only they had some of the Doctor's psychic paper.  As Yaz hears the TARDIS in Graham's living room.  She would!  She'll stick with the Doctor through thick and thin as she pushes her back instead of hugging her.  Which Jack notices.

They tell her about Robertson and the Dalek so she has to act to save humanity again.  Arriving at Robertson's office she tells him about the Daleks and how evil they are.  He doesn't know what she's talking about since the Daleks are AI and are robotic.  She takes Robertson back to the TARDIS as they hunt for the Dalek and gets them to Japan.  Where Jack takes Yaz who volunteers to go with him.  As they arrive he tells her he noticed her reaction to the Doctor and also he tells her how he's immortal, the Doctor having something to do with that.  Arriving by TARDIS gives the Doctor time to have a last yarn with Ryan and how she loves beanies too; reminding him of the yellow one he was wearing when they met and she knew he was someone worth getting to know.  Ryan telling her he's not the same person anymore.  As the Doctor isn't either, since she thought she was from Gallifray and how everything she thought she knew wasn't really her life.  

Jack and Yaz find the Daleks and Yaz wants to take a sample of the fluid the Daleks are suspended in.  As they are attacked by two crawling out of their case.  As the Doctor arrives, they find the fluid to be human, the workers from the plant.  Heading back to the TARDIS the Doctor has an idea to signal the Dalek fleet disguised as another Dalek message from the new ones and they arrive in San Francisco, where she watches them and the AI Daleks confront them.  The originals won't accept them as they're not pure as they detect humans.  However the AI argues they can become pure.  Destroying them, Robertson wants to be on their side betraying their humanity and blabbing that the Doctor sent the signal.  As they take him away to their leader, Graham, Ryan and Jack transport onto the Mother ship to plant explosives.  Also having to rescue Robertson.  The Doctor appears to them and they enter the TARDIS under the pretence of ridding the Doctor once and for all, but she's tricked them and the second TARDIS is crushed and sent to a place far, far away.  Robertson tells the Doctor he didn't betray her but was a decoy to help her.  

Ryan decides he wants to stay on earth and hep the planet.  Graham also wants to stay with him and she gives them psychic paper to help.  Yaz would want to stay with her and the Doctor thinks she should go back an hour before and then land so they can all be together.  She should've been here and not missed them for 10 months.  Ryan practices bike riding again as they see grandmother/wife, Grace (Sharon D Clarke).  Falling off his bike again, they hear about a factory in Korea when the workers refuse to attend after witnessing unusual events.

Also Rose was mentioned by Jack, some sort of foreshadowing as he tells her she's in a parallel world.  Jack also mentions the Cybermen and the Doctor said she did give them the Cyberium but she handled them.  The Doctor Who foes having their own theme tune.  The Daleks had a menacing one and the Cybermen had one I used to say sounded a bit Carry On Screaming when they used to show the monsters, Oddbod and Oddbod Jnr.  Ha.   

Robertson talking about knowing what's required for policing, spoken by Det Mikey Logan, Law and Order.  Again there's mention his being a hero on Newsnight and his run for President which he doesn't talk about.  SO after betraying the Doctor he comes through with flying colours in his own selfish interests.  Two Jacks in the same ep, one truly heroic and the other own looking for his own heroic, selfish glory.  Though Chris Noth was better this time round than the spider ep.  As he was more abhorrently representative of politicians currently on both sides of the Pond!  Sorry to see the pair go but Graham had some of the best lines in the series.  Still waiting for an explanation of the Doctor's past! 

Ghost Adventures "The Comedy Store"

The Comedy Store investigated as the location where comedians have been haunted.  *William Wilkerson opened Ciro's, a club with help from Bugsy Siegel in 1940.  Becoming the Comedy Store in 1972.  Jay Mohr tells of how he felt a presence in the main hall.  He realized no one was laughing and were 'frozen' and he told the ghost to "get lost."  It still affects him.  He tells Zak about Sam Kinison and saw him being wafted off stage.  In the Belly Room he says he saw a ghost there.  Others tell of hauntings, Mickey Cohen, an enforcer working for Bugsy and a newcomer was slammed against the ceiling on stage.  A figure was seen again.  Jay prayers when he went to the Belly Room.  They feel cold spots and Zak uses a Trifield meter and hear metal clanging.  The Trifield is placed near the microphone and it spikes.  

Jeff Scott, the piano player speaks of a dark figure in the form of smoke he saw in the alley and they feel more cold air surrounding them.  Also seen by someone else.  A Mafia hitman named Gus was also killed there.  As well as the abortion in the basement carried out by Ellen on Sharon who died and Ellen was killed.  Zak feels something around him in the basement and he clenches.  Later Aaron's Polaroid saw a white mist next to Zak at that same time.  Beg, Baby, Daddy when he asks Who am I to you?  The Trifield spikes a lot.  Jeff Ross roasts Zak.  Personally I wasn't amused at any of the jokes!  Jeff says he feels the comedians.  The light on the stage lights up when Jeff talks of Brody Stevens, who committed suicide.  

Jeff joins in the basement and he has the same reaction Zak did in the same spot.  An anomaly comes up from the basement where he had the same feeling.  He thinks it could be Gus.The Polterpod leads to a figure on the SLS and a voice comes through, saying "Zak."  As well as another figure on the SLS by the back door.  "Jimmy ordered??? Ellen" ordered could actually be murdered or had her killed, will need to listen a few more times.  Also there was a Ciro's in London (1915) and one in Paris, before the one in California, where apparently a bartender was named Jimmy, but obviously he probably wasn't the same person as the name on the EVP.  

Upstairs an anomaly comes past the Trifield and Zak gets one above his head and Billy feels a static charge at the same time over his head.  Zak stumbles over saying high electro magnetic fields and the meter spikes off the charts rapidly.  In the secret window an anomaly moves from his back and another one comes out.  As a black mass appears over him, saw that!  APF Processor is used to capture spirit voices.  On the Paranormal Puck, Billy says "Brody" and the Puck Sensor on stage lights up everytime Aaron says his name.  Aaron then asks if he knows what is happening in the world and a voice replies "I understand."  What did Zak scream, "sit down??"  The Puck says "memories" when Billy asks how many spirits are there.  Could that be referring to residual presences in reference to the laugh captured on the recorder.  Aaron tells unfunny jokes and a laugh is heard, sounded like a few laughs, just like residual laughs.  A voice appears to say "what's up guys."  A dark shadow is captured. 

*Wilkerson started The Hollywood Reporter in 1933

Supernatural 15.20 "Carry On" - A Commentary

Having watched the finale episode of Supernatural Season 15.20 I found I had much to say on it, but in the end decided there isn't much I will say after all.  Firstly since I know many won't agree with what I really have to say and that's fine, but that's not the major reason why which I won't go into since it will turn out being long and protracted.  

SO this was Dean's swansong, the first one to die and not going out in the sense of fighting a battle but during a fight which left him impaled on a nail.  Okay there's a term for that protruding thing but anyway to me, it wasn't what I was expecting or how any one of us would've imagined the ending would be.  There was no Butch and Sundance ending as Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) used to talk about on many occasions as did we too.  No guns blazing, fighting the good fight, though saving those children was a fight for the good.  Sam having to say goodbye so quickly, Dean too and not enough time to say necessary, but enough to get out the important goodbyes.  In some ways it was understandable Dean would be taken first as from 1.22 when he was the one who ended up in hospital after the truck crashed into the Impala.  Leaving Dad (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) to strike a bargain with Yellow Eyes, giving up his own life to save Dean.  

This time round there wasn't going to be any returning, no way Sam was going to bring him back.  This time was for keeps.  This showed from Dean's entire being, his reason for hunting and he was losing momentum fast and he was tired.  This again was apparent when he just wanted Jack (Alexander Calvert) to end Chuck (Rob Benedict) then and there in 15.18.  In doing so, they could have their lives back, free will, live as they wanted.  Yet it was such a short life, well lived without being puppets in a story.  Dean adopting that dog took me back to 9.5 Dean Dog Afternoon, where he carried out the spell allowing hit to communicate with dogs.

Then came Sam dying in season 2 and being brought back, Dean selling his soul, Cas (Misha Collins) rescuing him from purgatory, it was an endless cycle, vicious circle, but it was their destiny and somewhere someone will say it was still Chuck playing with their lives, causing all this chaos over and over.  Billie (Lisa Berry) telling Dean he was always the one, then adding the destructive part to it in 15.18 Despair.  This for summed up the entire battle for Dean and his hunting and in some respects was some crazy foreshadowing:

• Billie: "It's you, Dean. It's always been you.  Death-defying, rule-breaking.  You are everything I lived to set right.  To put down.  To tame.  You are human disorder incarnate."
• Castiel: "I've got you."  [Always had since season 4.)
• Billie: "Come on, Dean.  You can't escape me.  Don't you think it's finally time?  Time for the sweet release of Death?"  

Then there was Dean wanting to give up when he found that perfect life from What Is And What Should Never Be.  That was it for him, having Mom (Samantha Smith) around.  Again only being manipulated by the Djinn and ultimately by Chuck (as usual.)

This ending left a bad taste, it felt rushed, contrived.  There was no Zimmer frame for either one of them.  Contrary to what we fans imagined their lives would turn out to be as they grew grey together.  Still hunting into their '60's, '70's and beyond, heck we thought those Winchester dudes were invincible.  Turns out they were fallible after all and human too.  A harkback to the episode A Hero's Journey where they lost their mojo and were just as clumsy as you and me and no longer heroes.  "Getting old isn't a bachelor party" as Dean says to Bobby in 5.7 The Curious Case of Dean Winchester.  Where we do see Dean age, not gracefully but as handing out lives back to Bobby (Jim Beaver) during a poker game.  (Yes Supernatural was obsessed with poker, or pool as we also saw in 15.11 The Gamblers where they gambled with winning back their luck. A great episode going back to the lore that the show was renown for.

Some good points: they had a final hunt together, got to bring out Dad's journal again and should've known the end was near when Dean said, "this is my destiny" the pie festival! And not those "vamp mimes!"  Hey we never even got to see that leather jacket again!

Sam was the one who grew old, who had his life back as it should've been too if Dean hadn't returned for him as he said in 1.1 Pilot.  Granted he didn't get the uni/college education he was after, but he got married, presumably to Eileen, had a son and the family business continued leaving behind the Winchester legacy in his own son, named for Dean.  Just as Dad did the same entrusting it with Sam and Dean.  Sam telling Ruby in 4.12 how he didn't want to end up hunting all his life, but ended up doing just that.  Finally joining Dean in heaven, Jack's reboot of heaven as it should have been, according to Bobby.  Even if all Dean was seen to do was drive around carefree in his beloved Baby; playing Carry On My Wayward Son, endlessly!  We got to hear that at least.

I admit it wasn't going to be a finale that everyone would enjoy, as my friends said, after 15 years you were either going to hate it or love it, or maybe a mix of both, which is how I eventually ended up feeling.  No one wasn't going to be 100% catered for in getting the end we wanted.  Bittersweet ain't so bad.  They gave it their all and will be missed! Who's crying, I'm not crying.  You're crying! Just blubbing plenty now and then, or then and now! 

Farewell awesome dudes...

Ghost Adventures "Painted Lady Brothel"

The Swastika saloon, Albuquerque, New Mexico, is where they investigated, as it was once called.  As with the Nazi abuse of the word, the same thing happened at the saloon with the murders, rapes etc.  Jesse spoke of how he was attacked in his home and turned the saloon brothel ares into apartments for himself and to rent out.  He was warned before the place and was told about the history, by a relative of the family that built the saloon.  He was going to turn one room the bedroom so he turned it into an office.  As well as the story of the murder when the man found his lover with another man.  Zak takes some readings and there's a spike.  Jesse was attacked when he was sleeping and felt he was going to be possessed.  As well as being attacked in the nether regions.  Zak walks into the coat rack and shocks himself.  

His neighbour, a psychic felt a presence and they heard Bill.  His dog was tormented and Murray was attacked on his neck as she saw.  He thinks it was Bill and Murray is no longer around.  His dog door was at the office room and he was trapped in the door.  Why did he leave him alone in the house when he was attacked before and was warned about him.  Samantha's great grandfather ran the saloon.  She is also a medium.  Zak heard a growl before when standing near the room of the office and she feels his presence there.  Aaron finds out about a man who was a stabber and killed many people.  His name was Miguel Sadillo.  Aaron filmed Jesse when he wasn't well and he felt the same presence there.  Zak gets "Murray" on the EVP and think that Miguel killed Murray.  Samantha feels like Jesse is in danger and he's being possessed and agrees it's demonic. 

Triple Axis EMF meter and Zak uses it in room 3 where they say is a portal.  A light anomaly goes past Zak where the high EMF spikes were recorded by the bedroom door. Who opened the bathroom door more whilst they were filming by the bedroom.  An anomaly goes inside of Billy in the same spot.  The room is freezing.  Zak sends Jay to room 3 for the entire night.   There's a blue misty type feature in one of the Polaroids taken in front of the bathroom door.  Could that be the transparent, jellyfish like anomaly Zak saw??  The thermal cam shows a cold spot on the pillow in the bedroom.  A stick figure appears near the bed and by Billy's arm.  Zak then gets a figure on his hand.  A painted lady doing a lapdance or something else.  Jay uses the binaural microphone and a sound is heard.  I thought it sounded like a voice. "nah, nah nah" almost.  Something falls in room 4 with no one in there.  

Aaron and Billy use the Polterpod in the office and a female voice comes through, "bored." "Boyd"  "Board"  "Bord"...ello??  It doesn't say "yeah."  How did that even sound like yeah.  Jay says some words as he is sensing pain and sorrow.  "I don't even care" is what they sound like.  

Paranormal Puck 2 comes through with "kill."  Zak asks what's buried here? "Bible."

"Who is in danger?"  

"Self."

"Yourself."  Probably referring to Zak.  

They don't know how Jesse will stay here but will offer him help in some way to cleanse and remove the entities.  That place was ominous to begin with, so dark and foreboding.  I don't know how or why anyone would or could live there.  Even the inside was creepy.

Ghost Adventures "El Rancho Hotel"

Gallup, New Mexico where Zak does his impression of a galloping horse! Yeah - no! Investigating the El Rancho Hotel, New Mexico which he calls The Shining Hotel of New Mexico.  Suicides, and a newly discovered murder which was unknown to the owner and staff.  As well as investigating the Bunkhouse.  The hotel was built in 1936 for Hollywood film productions and used for the crew and stars.  More dark energy is complained of and the Bunkhouse appears to be the source of this.  One of the staff speaks of seeing a shadow figure and catches something on the photo that she took, which leaves her traumatized.  The hotel employees also resided there, eeww what a creepy place to live in.  A pentagram with 666 was found in the bunkhouse and this was covered by someone with a cross over it.  Phil doesn't want to ask questions and walks off, as Zak calls this a first.  

Zak sends Billy to the underground tunnels in the basement which run all the way underneath El Rancho, used for prohibition etc.   Suicides were in rooms 108 and 214.  The end of the tunnel can't be seen and Billy gets a disembodied voice when he investigates it.  As for the murder one bellhop shot another one 8 times in the chest, bit graphic 'ey.  Room 221 is where Von saw inside the room.  Zak tells Aaron to bring out his phone and take notes and how they used to write things down on paper before in eps.  As well as marking X's on the floor with tape and writing the level of EMF spikes received on the Trifield.  With the static sensor being used too.  One spike is 100 however is later debunked as they find an electrical sub-panel. In 211 Von heard children inside.  As they place a ball outside the room.

Zak notices a head peaking out by the room where they placed the ball so they think it could be a child.  It looks much creepier than being a child.  Also anytime I see a dark shadow like that it reminds me of the little shadow figures that followed Aaron around, especially the one at Hales Bar Marina and Dam ep.  Zak captures a voice on the recorder in the room.  I can hear a "yeah" before the "I'm back..."  See that voice matches the creepy head.  He uses the bi-noral microphone to hear sounds, amplified.   In the bunkhouse at 24.25-27 is there a shadow that walks past before Billy asks Zak if he saw the white light with his eyes, but the light isn't seen on the camera.  It does look like you can see it.  The white light seems to go round the back of the cupboard or whatever that is standing there on the right.  There appears to be something there right at the end?? 

The red arrow shows where something appears to walk and ends up like a white light where the blue is. 

Aaron's sent to the devil worshipping room and Zak tells it to attack him, footsteps or banging is then heard from behind them.  Aaron uses the Polterpod near and on the pentagram.  The voices sounds like "good luck."  I hear "we fear" not "remember" when Aaron asks what was done there.  Billy gets a stabbing feeling in his arm, where I suddenly felt itchy!  Aaron then feels something went through him. Jay's locked inside to investigate alone.  Whilst Zak and Billy go to the banquet room. 

"Wanna scare you...we're not scared" is what I hear when Aaron catches the voice on the spirit box in room 305 Sidney Greenstreet room.  Aaron asks "who are you" and gets response I Him.  Zak catches a stick figure with the SLS on a ball and seems to kick it.  The disembodied voice in the tunnel sounds like "get out" sort of nasally.