Mysteries of Laura 2.5 "Mystery of the Watery Grave" Review

                                             
A 911 operator receives a call from a woman who is run off the road in her car by bikers.  She's the wife of The New York Ledger owner, Terrence Van Doren (Jeffrey Pierce) who needs them to find out who killed his wife, Isabel (Betty Gilpin).  At the accident scene Renaldo (Marc Webster) finds the body is missing, probably washed away in the river and signs of head trauma with some scalp remains on the windscreen.  Inside Laura (Debra Messing) spots  a plastic bag and some empty coffee cups.  After speaking with Terrence who tells them he recently published an article about motorcycle flashmobs and thinking it could be murder.  Meredith (Janina Gavankar) knows where the bikers will be and Jake (Josh Lucas) wants to get out his Harley and go riding, but Laura doesn't cos he's still recovering and besides, Meredith adds she'd look better on a bike than him.  Ooh missed our chance to see Jake in leathers!

Billy (Laz Alonso) follows her and she gets in the bikers good books and challenges them to a race but a motorist gets involved and has his window smashed, leading her to reveal her true ID.  He insists he didn't have anything to do with Isabel cos they filed a lawsuit against Terence and were most likely to win, attacking her would've led to that not happening.  He also has an alibi cos he was with his wife.  Jake asks Terrence for the hate mail he's been getting and he tells his assistant, Beth (Anastasia Barzee) to help.  Also telling him Claire died in a kayaking accident.  Yeah they were all accidents how unlucky could Terrence have been with his wives!  His former brother in law, brother of his first wife, Claire was sending him the mail and is most likely the suspect.  Laura speaks with him and he says he used to beat Claire and didn't let the family see her whenever they wanted to.

Knew Isabel staged her own death cos it was that obvious, but more so since she would've got the same treatment as Claire and that Terrence also would've killed Claire.  Remember always suspect the spouse!  Meredith listens to the 911 call and says the sound effects were just that and there were no bikes following her.  Thus she staged her death.  Laura also assumes the bag she saw in the car would've had ice in there which would've melted in the water and would've been placed on the accelerator to speed the car and enter the water.  Laura and Jake speak with the taxi ferry operator who doesn't recall seeing Isabel or Terrence.  Santiani (Callie Thorne) disagrees she's still alive unless they can get evidence confirming the white van a woman wearing a baseball cap got into is actually Isabel.  Who took a ferry to an IKEA store and got into the van and is seen on their surveillance.  Jake commenting on how shoppers wanted to get to IKEA so early!

Terrence pays a visit to Santiani who believes her detectives are not doing their jobs and as he knows the police commissioner will have the case reassigned.  She gives Laura her full backing to find Isabel cos Terrence is a jerk, to put it mildly.  They find that Isabel didn't have any friends, after Laura speaks with her assistant who was meant to help her blend into Greenwich society.  He tells Laura she didn't have much to do and didn't want to volunteer, also she preferred jeans to nice clothes, which Laura agrees with.  But she did donate money to a place downtown, the Styvesant women's shelter.  Where Max (Max Jenkins) finds the woman in charge hired a van using her credit card to rent the white truck.  Meredith is able to narrow down motels near an airport, as the truck had GPS she can hack into.

Laura goes alone since she's a woman so Isabel would talk to her more easily and she pulls a gun on her.  She tells her about Terrence and how he would've killed her cos he used to beat her up and shows her the bruises where he recently kicked her.  Also saying she'd end up like Claire.  She won't come in but Laura promises to get him for murdering Claire.  Jake wants her to come in cos they can protect her, but that'd be ruining the ace up their sleeve, since he's got the police commissioner and everyone else eating out of his hand.  Max tells them the only police interview they conducted for Claire's death was with Beth and Jake says he can talk to her, "it's man/woman thing."

She tells Jake she didn't see Claire that day and her finances show that Terrence bought her an expensive apartment which must've been a payment for helping him out.  Terrence's lawyer shows up and prevents her talking further and Jake puts his foot in it by libelling him.  He goes to the press who turn up at Laura's doorstep and Laura adds it's messy now.  Hey why didn't they share dinner with
the boys since they were actually all at the house together.  Max also raving about the decor in Terence's house and showing them magazine photos.  She notices he hasn't changed the decor at all since then, so they could get a warrant to search his house.  However they'd need Isabel for that so Santiani thinks if they searched anyway, then he couldn't refuse them or he'd look guilty.  Jake wants a date with Laura and he asks what's happening with the forgiveness project, but she says she's with Tony.

She notices that there seems to be a painting there that's different and Max confirms there should be a tryptych there, maybe it had blood spatter.  Meredith, Billy and Renaldo found a grave on the property which contained a DB there.  Laura and Max pay a visit to the museum where he donated the third of the painting and Max gets her in cos the Carnegies are huge donators.  He tells them Terrence donated it but it's been cleaned before it was hung.  That's why he did it cos any DNA would've been cleaned along with it and was donated at the time Claire died.

Laura recalls how Isabel's assistant said he loved his mother and visited her grave every week, but the museum man says he hated her.  Thus the body is most likely there.  Got that when the assistant said Terrence went to see his mother every week!  She can get into the family crypt with Isabel's consent cos she's family and Renaldo finds a skull with head trauma.  They have enough to arrest Terrence, however Laura fools him with an ulna bone which she put together from a museum kit Renaldo gave the boys.  Terrence smugly says they need a warrant for the crypt, but Isabel turns up saying they had her permission.  He'll do down for Claire's murder.

Santiani tells Laura her ex beat her once and she left him and that's why she wanted to get Terrence as well.  That's why she gave her leeway on the case.  Laura still hasn't forgiven Jake but he hasn't given up and wants a date with her, with the "may the best man win" comment too. Well we know who the best man is, sorry but Tony is boring!! Lots of clues early on again that Isabel staged her own death and where Claire's DB would be found and also when the caretaker said he'd come in every week with a briefcase, off course that'd be to sneak in parts of the body.

Once Upon A Time 5.19 "Sisters" Review

                                               
As Hades (Greg Germann) drives Zelena (Rebecca Mader) around in his truck, to the tune of "I'm the one that set the world on fire" or rather, made the show so boring ha!  He tells her if she wants the real Storybrooke he'll get it for her cos she doesn't deserve this second rate one in the underworld and he's changed the names on the gravestones so that none of these do-gooders can leave.  They'll go back and take it over, of course she's forgetting or not realizing he's only using her.  How can she be wicked and at the same time be blinded by his true intentions.  I mean how can he leave this place anyway.  As Regina (Lana Parilla) tells her it's a mistake and he can't expect to think he can leave by true love's kiss after all the time he's been here.  She shows her the mirror which she used to spy on their so-called date including finding out his plan of leaving them all stranded here.  Though Hades forgets their secret weapon, Snow is back in Storybrooke already and will band everyone together to fight Hades, if he gets there.  Also that David (Josh Dallas) sent her back cos she's a better leader, could he have foreseen this trouble coming.  It's a little doubtful he'll even make it their considering what happens at the end of this ep, with Zelena getting kidnapped.

Cos David was right, he wouldn't have been any good back there and he wouldn't have gotten his meeting with James either.  Who tells him Cruella (Victoria Smurfit) lied, he doesn't bear grudges about their mother choosing David over him, rather he took his princley title from him, which is the real reason he's here with his unfinished business, which will remain so.  He kidnapped David and locked him up in the sheriff's station, not too bright then was he.  As he returns to Emma's (Jennifer Morrison) apartment, she doesn't sense he's not quite her father, like mother, like daughter can I say, considering Snow didn't realize it wasn't David who kissed her, so much for true love's kiss.  Emma didn't even notice the stubble on him either!  Considering they all share that apartment.  He gets the day wrong in the photo of David and Snow forgetting it was their anniversary, still Emma didn't realize with their love for each other, David wouldn't ever forget their anniversary!

Regina finds talking to Zelena didn't do any good since she doesn't believe Regina would care about her now after all this time and she thinks they need someone else's help.  This being Cora (Barbara Hershey) who we see is slaving away down the mines, so to speak, as the miller's daughter that she is. She finds a hook in the sacks and uses it to get her magic back by removing her bracelet, obviously recognizing Hook's (Colin O'Donoghue) hook, he hasn't had much to do of late, he was only in two scenes!

David and Emma take supplies to Robin (Sean Macguire) still hiding out when I'm sure he could've returned with Snow and Cruella drives up as James takes the baby, cos Hades wants it and will get into Zelena's good books with it, but also they can use it as leverage against Hades.  See, a surefire giveaway that he doesn't really love her cos he wouldn't have to use a baby to blackmail her. Emma gets a bracelet slapped on her to stop her using magic.  Thinking Hades will probably turn around and surprise everyone by declaring he really does love her and will need their help with Zelena.

Cora says the only way they can get Zelena to get over Hades is if she forgets and takes some water from a stream running from the river of Lethe.  The same one she used on Regina to make her forget about Zelena.  So now suddenly cos the plot requires it, we find Regina and Zelena knew they were sisters all along cos Cora needed  Zelena to save Regina after she opened a box containing her wand and fell ill after she used its magic to bring her doll to life.  Bringing back Zelena from her abusive father who didn't want her to use magic as we know.  So after they both got close and after Cora, foolishly didn't remove the box from that same drawer and Zelena was able to open it, Regina realized they must be related.  Cora admitting they are sisters but taking Zelena away and making them both forget their obvious love for each other.

Cora says she's sorry to Zelena but Zelena reads her like a book and knows Regina is there, not drinking the water she calls poison.  As Regina and Zelena are about to throw fireballs at each other, for real and not play dress-ups, Cora puts an end to it.  She says she loves them both and her unfinished business is Zelena, not Regina.  She joins hands with them and miraculously makes them recall the love for each other.  Zelena now knowing she was loved.  So they end up at that cliff edge again and she says her goodbyes to Regina cos she didn't have a chance to in Storybrooke and her hellos to Zelena cos they didn't even get a chance to say hello.  Zelena is upset cos she didn't get chance to know her.  Cora is engulfed by flames which turn into that same old staircase out of there, the same one Regina's father climbed, most likely and she is redeemed and sent to a better place.

Zelena seems to be on her side until Gold (Robert Carlyle) catches up to her and wants his revenge for what she did to Belle, it's not her fault she didn't want to be with him, she tells him, as she watches Hades inside the diner, cos sis Regina let hr be with the man she loves.  Playing that same old song.  Maybe it is for Zelena to remain wicked and remain a villain and not a hero, not everyone can become a hero can they, that'd be too much like Regina. Gold introduced her to his dad, Peter Pan (Robbie A Kay) and he managed to say that with a straight face again, as Pan whisked her away, guessing it's not to Neverland!! ha.

David and Hook arrive at the dock in time to save the others as he and James fight, as Cruella runs away when James is pushed into the river of Lost Souls, so no unfinished business for him.  He told him he shouldn't have locked him up there cos he knows how to get out.
Suppose the highlight was Cora calling Hook "my faiyr godmother."  Most of this felt like it was tacked on just to get Cora gone and Regina and Zelena to find each other as sisters.  The baby kidnap and David meeting James was hopeless and silly really, cos it was finished in the space of one ep, like Hook becoming the Dark One was dealt with in two eps.  Funny Cruella just seems to get away over and over to fight another day, so it's not so easy to take care of her then!

The Vampire Diaries 7.20 "Kill 'Em All" Review

                                               
As they rush to finish off the vampires on Rayna's (Leslie-Anne Huff) list, time's running out for Bonnie (Kat Graham).  Damon (Ian Somerhalder) gets Matt (Zach Roerig) and Stefan (Paul Wesley) to kill some together which was a mistake considering what they feel towards one another, but the unfinished story between them and why Matt hates him so much was inevitable.  Two years ago Matt proposed to Penny and she accepted.  But we know she was killed and Matt suspects it was Stefan. However he learns it was actually him, after Stefan saves him from a vampire.  Stefan was visiting Elizabeth Forbes's grave hoping Caroline (Candice King) would show up, but she didn't.  Instead he was met by Penny who tried to kill him.  Matt arrived and he shot her, thinking it was a vampire. Stefan compelled him to forget and still doesn't want him to remember, but he gives Matt back his memories.  He's sorry he released Rayna and kidnapped Caroline for something he did.  Well it wouldn't be that difficult considering Rayna is one selfish liar and loves using people.  Matt blames Stefan for coming back to Mystic Falls but actually it's also his fault too for drawing her into this vampire hunting, especially since she was just going after everyone, even those Matt knows.

Caroline takes Alaric (Matt Davis) on their so-called hunting roadtrip too, even though there's a million things to do with the twins and at their school.  She wants to help Bonnie and she also doesn't want to be with Stefan either or see him.  They find two who are a couple and at the first sign of trouble, Ashlyn runs out on Wyatt.  However Damon gets Alex (Mouzzar Moukka) to help with the Armoury in killing the rest off the list, in return he'll get Bonnie to her.  He also tells Enzo (Michael Malarkey) to be with Bonnie cos he doesn't have much time left with her and he doesn't want Bonnie to give up.  Again referring to his own life when he had to give up, going through the hurt, anger, drinking, fighting, but nothing helped.  Bonnie takes Rayna's blood and injects herself with it so the Armoury can't find her with a locator spell as the pills have warn off.

Stefan tells Damon he can't forgive him just yet for the hell he went through, but he's doing good and he should continue with that.  Alex kidnaps Alaric and Caroline so that Bonnie fulfils her part of the bargain and opens the vault.  Alaric is impressed with an artifact belonging to Charlemagne which he searched for three years and with all of their other finds; he's hoping they get whatever they want cos they could be in serious trouble otherwise and Bonnie opens the vault, telling everyone to get out quickly.  Inside Alex finds Yvette dead and nothing good, but apparently it's something which will turn everyone bad and this is what happened to their great grandfather after he opened it too.

Damon tells Enzo he made a deal with Alex so Bonnie will hate him and not Enzo, doing what he couldn't do.  She already hates him anyway even if she said she forgives him for leaving.  Damon takes Rayna to the shaman, gives him Bonnie's blood and he does the spell, but before Rayna stabs herself she gets him to transfer her burdens onto Bonnie, meaning she'll hate all the vampires and hunt them all down.  So ending her relationship with Enzo too.  Of course as we're nearing the end of the season, something else had to happen for next season, including the new big bad that's potentially released now, even if Bonnie sealed the Armoury with a spell, so it can't get out.  It is a big place to keep underwraps and surely someone will find it, or Bonnie'll open it herself now she has to hunt vampires herself.

Mysteries of Laura 2.4 "The Mystery of the Convict Mentor" Review

                                                
Nice change of pace for an ep, when I say change of pace, I mean as in plot, as this time the action focused on a cold case and not on any homicide.  Though one was mentioned which Billy (Laz Alonso) and Meredith (Janina Gavankar) cleared up in the record time of eight hours.  Laura (Debra Messing) received a call from her old captain, Hauser (who last season murdered his wife's killer and pulled a gun on Laura too, oh the outrage, Pilot ep).  Hauser (Enrico Colantoni) cryptically tells her where to find the DBs of two security guards who vanished after a robbery and then tells her he can't talk anymore, she assumes it's cos he's being watched.  Santiani (Callie Thorne) wants her to investigate a murder and Laura thinks they may be synchronicitally sharing their time of the month and asks if she's on it now, cos Laura's got serious cramps.

Laura takes Jake (Josh Lucas) to the building where the DBs are after buying a screwdriver, clearly she doesn't have one at home and neither does Jake, just saying!  Cos later Santiani checks her credit card and finds she purchased one the day before, and she couldn't pay cash for it either.  They find the DBs of the security guards behind a grate and she recognizes the uniforms and the necklace that the woman wore.  Jake wants forensics on the scene, bu Laura wants him to wait cos of ehr CI and finally reveals it's Hauser, shocking him of course.  They argue about how she's forgiven him, someone who held a gun to her, but she can't forgive him and holds his past up to him everyday. Clearly moving on from the conversation they had about how she lets the boys do their maths homework when they're with him, adding that Jake could always do the laundry instead.  Nah I wouldn't do laundry!  Also Jake mentions how it's funny how the man gets lumbered with the maths homework.

This ep was a little sexist in that's how Billy was treating Meredith, he wanted to protect her when they were on the manhunt and also how he stopped her at the end of the ep from advancing any further when they caught the crim.  She's a detective and was one long before they got together which she tells him in no uncertain terms, they're equals and partners and she doesn't need protecting cos she's his girl now, or needs to walk behind him.  Apparently the only reason no one's brought up how they're getting along is cos they don't want anyone else to know, but of course Laura does.

Laura pays Hauser a visit in prison and gives him a bag of pork rinds which will make him go straight to the loo, thought that was a clue he was already giving her.  As well as the ones where he tells her he's wearing band aids on all his fingers cos of paper cuts and he's researching for his appeal, hitting a brick wall.  Yeah it was all there.  Also adding he's unable to talk right now.  Next day Jake comes in telling her she's not watching the news cos their was a prison break and Thomas Mullens (Jamie Jackson) escaped along with Hauser.  Cue manhunt and also Laura and Jake searching Hauser's cell under the suspicious gaze of the correctional officers, who film their search.  He made his escape by removing bricks from the wall and hid it behind the boxes full of legal books. Having also made legal notes too.

Santiani finds out about Laura's visit to Hauser and benches her until IA can deal with her, she also checked her credit card, though Jake could've used his instead.  She's suspected of helping him to escape, which Laura finds absurd.  Laura has Max (Max Jenkins) check out the correction officers at the prison and he finds that there are three women there who can be very easily manipulated by the men.  So why not the male officers, see sexist comment again.  Jake questions the three and one of them, Vicky Lynn (Eva Kaminsky) liked Hauser even though he's a killer.  Jake breaks her down as only Jake could and she admits they're on their way to Canada.

Laura recalls how Hauser liked Mexico when they were partners and used to make things up to pass the time.  Then recalls the clues in their conversation.  She asks Jake to search his cell as if he was leaving clues for them and to luminol the cell, would've been quicker if she had asked him to luminol the brick walls instead of the entire cell, cos of his 'hitting a brick wall' clue from earlier.  Anyhoo, Jake finds 'charlie' written in his blood on the wall.  Laura shows Santiani the map where Charlie district was their patrol area and how Mullens owned the building there.  Max did research and found he owned six buildings in the area.  Which they search but come up with nothing.  Laura is despondent then hears the call over the radio about a break in where flashlights and such items were stolen.  She checks out bathroom and finds a message written in waterproof eyeliner in the toilet which gives her an address.  Jake has Max check it out and buildings registered to the name of Rosario, Mullens' mother's maiden name.

Laura promises to wait but has to go in when he pulls a gun on Hauser.  The others try and break down the door when they arrive, but couldn't see he window like Laura did.  She tries to talk him down but can't and Jake uses a door jamb to open the door, Billy shooting Mullens.
Well if Hauser hadn't gone to prison, Jake wouldn't be at the precinct cos he was the replacement boss, much to Laura's chagrin and we wouldn't have gotten to see him stuck behind his desk, practically, every ep!  Ha.  Laura and her emotional farewell to him and he regrets his actions cos she was his family.  But she can't forgive Jake so easily cos everytime she tries to go there the hurt just keeps coming back.

Anyway Jake did the paperwork so she can buy him a beer.  The scene in the bar with them when Jake wanted to dance with her was so funny and at the same time a little romantic too.  She wants to forgive him, especially cos of what he said in the season 1 finale, but just can't get past the betrayal.  And eeeww Laura didn't wash her hands after touching the toilet, I know it's just a little point, but still, eeeww!!  Ha.

Longmire 4.4 "Four Arrows" Review

                                              
The FBI and forensics arrive at Walt's (Robert Taylor) place and clear up the scene, as well as taking Barlow's body away, which we get interspersed with Walt talking a shower (not saying a thing, just imagine it instead!) again and close up on the blood on the step.  Walt decides to completely rebuild a new step instead of cleaning up the old one, yeah remove all trace of him from his house and his mind.  As he then builds a whole new shelf/bookcase for his office and reads whilst guzzling umpteenth cans of Rainier.  He's ready to return to work and in doing so, changes the message on his answering machine from Martha's voice to his own, "This is Walt..."  the woman's voice sounded a little like Tippi Hedren to me.

Ferg (Adam Bartley) helps Walt carry the bookcase to his office and the town is buzzing as the casino's opened, Four Arrows.  No one was expecting him back until Monday and Vic (Katee Sackhoff) hired a replacement deputy, Eamonn O'Neill (Josh Cooke)) with him away, who came across as rather smug.  Walt doesn't like him and at the end he tells Vic that Walt wanted him gone cos he was jealous of them, don't think that at all, though it may have seemed that way, thought it was more to do with him as a person, I'd say.

Lucien (Peter Weller) helps regulate traffic on the highway as there's a collision between a bus and an RV, with plenty of commotion and drinking.  He was doing their job for them seeing as they were short staffed, well I didn't see them needing any replacement for Branch these past three eps.  When everyone leaves, Walt picks up rubbish and finds a duffle bag left behind which is a bit too heavy to pick up, inside is a DB of a woman.  Vic needs to take her to the morgue and he goes to the casino to find Archer Loftus (Lew Temple) whose bag tag has been found too.  Walt bumps into Henry (Lou Diamond Phillips) who's been roped in by Malachi to cook.  Walk asks  Nighthorse (A Martinez) for help in locating the man, but he refuses until he gets an apology, which he called the worst one he's ever heard.  He locates Archer who says he works on an oil rig and the company just want him gone, what better way to do this than to frame him.  Walt says he used to work on an oil rig out in Prudoe Bay, Alaska and it's not easy.

Nighthorse also helps under the condition that he doesn't give the story to the press since his casino doesn't need a bad rep, he needs the money to finish building and Barlow left him short changed since his money's in probate.   Walt gets Lucien to help since he already was helping and he heads off to talk to the bus load of women in the RV.  Vic and can't find any clues to who the girl is.  Ferg's APB on the missing bus driver, Randolph Hale (James McDonald) comes up with nothing and another rig worker tells Walt he saw a dark haired woman on the bus, as some men tried to come onto her. Talking with the RV women, Walt doesn't really find out much, surprised they weren't shown her pic as well.

Nighthorse is angry that Walt went to the press but it's actually Eamonn who said they didn't find anything so it'd be an easy way of getting results.  Vic stands up for him cos that's how they do things here cos Walt's been gone along time and Ruby (Louanne Stephens) comes in with her name, Delia. Her friends saw her on TV.  Walt didn't want her parents to get the news from the TV.  Sarah (Molly Burnett) tells him that she didn't want to come to the wedding, it was a last minute thing and she didn't want to come, but she must've changed her mind.  Sarah seemed to be a little too helpful and overdoing the tears.  Walt shows them the bag and they think it's what she would've used.

Ferg finds Randolph and there's an awkward chase when he runs naked out of the shower.  He thinks his wife reported him but doesn't recall seeing her.  See new breed of criminal and riff raff in town, I mean who'd want to steal his dirty, old clothes.  Walt and Vic later talk to the rest of the wedding party and the bride, Nikki (Brooke Nevin) and groom, Noah (Drew Fuller) who was having an affair with Delia.  He also notices there was no basket with Delia's name on it inside the RV.   Vic finds nothing in the luggage compartment.  A credit card search on Noah doesn't reveal he bought a bag but Sarah knew of the affair, see quick to help cos she was guilty.  She says they fought and was pushed, she fell out and hit her head, so in the confusion of the accident, they hid her body and dumped her there.

Henry helps out a woman, Tall Grass's wife (Marisa Quinn) and her son, Cade (Teo Briones) after he writes to Hector about his father beating his mother and takes them out of town it seems.  Mathias (Zahn McClarnon) needs Walt's help in searching Henry's apartment for him as a neighbour saw Henry drop off Cade.  Walt needs to do this cos right now no one trusts him.  They don't find anything but Henry spots Cade's missing tooth on the table.

Walt and Lucien talk and he says he should've been a better brother, then maybe Barlow wouldn't have turned out like he did and Martha would've been alive.  Someone should've got him with a bullet every minute of his life.  Vic and Eamonn have each other's numbers and he's only in the next county, good, they're welcome to each other then!  Don't know about you, but I found this ep to be a little slow going especially in comparison to the last three eps and the case was a little routine too. Thought they'd have made more about Barlow's shooting but the FBI took that in their stride what with all this handshaking going on.

Once Upon A Time 5.18 "Ruby Slippers" Review

                                             
Ruby (Meghan Ory) wakes up in the apartment and there's a scrap of gingham she's been carrying around.  Obviously it belongs to Dorothy (Teri Reeves) who else.  There's always some scrap of material around, just like Ruby sniffed out Arthur as the killer of Merida's father with a scrap too. Back in Oz she and Mulan (Jamie Chung) ran into Dorothy who had lost Toto, what again and Ruby said she could sniff him out cos she's a wolf, which Dorothy was excited or sarcastic about, or whatever.  Until she actually did find him being held hostage by Zelena (Rebecca Mader) so Mulan came up with a sleeping potion idea, only they needed a poppy and this gave Ruby and Dorothy time to gal bond together.  Like Ruby being run out of town and how her family tried to put Dorothy away for speaking of a land over the rainbow, except for Aunty Em (Gina Stockdale) who believed her. Bringing up some emotional feeling between them which neither one wanted to talk about.  Ruby admitting to Mulan Dorothy doesn't feel the same way.  Mulan told her to go for it but Dorothy was missing and all that was left was her scrap of gingham.

Belle (Emilie de Ravin) asked for Zelena's advice about the baby and got even more worried when   she found out that Emma (Jennifer Morrison) speeded up the birth of hers when she was the Dark One, so Hades (Greg Germann) could probably do the same.  Maybe he could or couldn't but he isn't exactly the Dark One is he.  She thinks there's a way of slowing down the birth, now that Belle knows time isn't on her side.

Some questions like why didn't they: send Robin back with the baby too, also Belle as well, sure those slippers could've carried more than just Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) if all they have to do is hold onto each other.  I mean he's still hiding out in the woods with their baby and there's no need for him to be here.  It's not like he's got his name engraved on the stones, when Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) came up with a novel idea when the Charming's were worried about not knowing how Neal is, cos Cruella (Victoria Smurfit) was tasked with taking away the phonebox cos of them thar do-gooders being around.  She told Henry (Jared Gilmore) she wouldn't do it if he wrote her back, but then it happened anyway.  Zelena even gave Regina (Lana Parilla) the slippers without any fuss whatsoever.

Hook and David had a talk over how David didn't want to leave here but he had to, with him actually admitting he was growing to like Hook.  "I have that effect on people."  Thus they came up with the idea that Snow should return instead, cos she's a better leader anyway and if Storybrooke is in trouble she'd handle it better, whilst being left to hold the baby once more.  Hook had engraved David's name on the stone instead cos Hades didn't remove his power to add names using his hook.

Dorothy having had a sleeping curse placed on her was in need of true love's kiss and they thought Em might be here, so they find her gravestone and the witch (Emma Caulfield) tells them she's working at a rival diner.  When she finds out about Dorothy, she wants to help by putting true love's kiss into the magic bottle, but Hades is already there and put some water from the Lost Souls river into the soup, having to mop her up when she liquifies.  He thinks his plan is foiled but we know it's actually Ruby who holds true love's kiss.  So it was time to say goodbye and using the slippers they arrived in Oz where Dorothy was surrounded by munchkins and Ruby kissed Dorothy, whereupon she awoke and it was a rugged kiss fest all round with the two of them.

Henry also showed the others a page from the book showing Snow with Neal and she'd made it back from Oz.  Belle rushed into see Rumples and told him she couldn't wait around for a solution cos her baby could grow anyday now and she pricked her finger with a gadget given to her by Zelena , was that a mini spindle and fell into a deep sleep, wanting her father to wake her up with true love's kiss cos Rumples said he wouldn't.  Er, how sure was she her father is around and also that he would use the kiss especially since he most likely blames Belle for her mother's death at the hands of an ogre. Wouldn't it be more ironic if it was the same baby ogre she let go.

Once Upon A Time 5.17 "Her Handsome Hero" Review

                                       
Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) are at the graveyard when all of a sudden Hook notices a storm's coming.  As they run for cover, a creature comes out of there and chases them, striking down Snow.  Said that was Ruby (Meghan Ory) how many other wolves do we know.   Hook calling that a quick storm.  Emma wakes up at the dock, Hook let her sleep cos she hasn't slept in ages and she tells the others about her dream, promising to sleep for a week when they get back home.   At the library Regina's (Lana Parilla) written runes all over the door so that using their magic they can open it, which only opens the door but they're met by bricks, as David (Josh Dallas) earlier remarked the element of surprise on Hades (Greg Germann) would be good, but he's everywhere so that wouldn't have worked anyway!

Belle's father (Eric Keenleyside) wanted her to meet Gaston (Wes Brown) and as we know from Disney Gaston was never good.  He thinks his father's armies will help them in the ogre wars (yeah think Once could get a whole series out of that: OUAT: The Ogre Wars, though guessing they did nothing to infuriate the ogres to begin with.  Belle (Emilie de Ravin) doesn't want to meet him, she doesn't know him and then is being palmed off into a loveless marriage.  Gaston tells her it's okay but at the same time they could go for a walk.  Clearly Belle was naive here, probably still is.  During their walk they find a huge hole where an ogre has fallen down and Belle thinks it's just a baby ogre. Thus she rushes off home thinking there's a magical object somewhere which will tell if it's evil or not as the eyes will light up red in it.  Always a mirror!
Whilst looking for this object through the many books that her mother has collected, something which her mother always does, she finds a book, 'Her Handsome Hero' which she gives to him to read.  It's not romantic but contains stuff on courage and the like.  As she gallops off to find said mirror.  He takes it with him while he guards the ogre.

In the underworld, Belle returns to Gold (Robert Carlyle) with yet more unfilled demands, after saying she wanted nothing to do with him until he gets their baby off  Hades' list.  But she didn't want him to use dark magic to do this, only he tried explaining he is the Dark One now, but maybe he could use dark magic to make light work, no, for the purposes of it being light.  Hades turned up to see Gaston in the animal shelter where he was working and told him about Belle and Rumple.  This was after Hades  found a flower growing and curse it, hope was now coming to the underworld.  All Snow's doing obviously, or not but she's big on hope.  He wanted Gaston to take care of Rumple who is supposedly his unfinished business.  So he fired magical arrows at him, which Rumple caught and still Gaston didn't the get the message that he can't be killed like that.  Belle later decided she was his unfinished business, as she made Rumple open Gaston's locker and found that same book.

In her kingdom, she found the mirror but found Gaston injured, saying the ogre escaped.  It was him of course and she convinced her father she'd use the mirror which Gaston broke, so um, seven years bad luck didn't enter the equation to seal his fate and she saw his red eyes in the reflection she knew it was him.  The ogre ran away and lived to fight, maybe even being part of killing her mother, so we see Belle and her foolishness also probably contributed to her mother's death.  Yet Gaston still returned to give her another chance which she accepted.  Of course we know she didn't marry him cos she was 'given' to Rumples instead.  But I did like the part where Rumples turned Gaston into a rose.  Reminded me of when the Blue Fairy gave Belle a rose to carry around in that bell jar showing how long he had to live.  Well it looked like a rose to me, ha!

Regian and Zelena (Rebecca Mader) had a sisterly chat in the hopes that she'd tell her a few secrets about Hades and she did reveal he's in love with her and she maybe feels the same way too.  Back at the graveyard Emma decided she wanted to see if her dream comes true, but Snow insisted on going, cos she would.  Yes the same happened again and they took cover in Regina's vault.  Then Regina turned up and they went to face the monster, only it was Ruby, as said.

Hades offered Belle a deal, let the two of them face off and one will fall into the sea which leads into the River of Souls, he'd give her back her baby.  Later Gaston returned to the shop, thought he'd killed Rumple cos he'd be stupid enough to turn his back towards the door and not hear anyone walking up. But it was Belle testing him.  Gaston told her he kept the book not out of love but as a reminder. Belle telling him Rumple's her husband.  Shock, horror.  Still that didn't stop them meeting at the dock and Rumple, suspending Gaston in mid-air ready to throw him over.  But Belle turned up again, stopped Gaston from firing an arrow and basically pushed him in herself.  But that wasn't enough to square the deal, since Hades didn't want her to do it. Hades finds a dead flower and got his dream come true!  Which he sent to Zelena and she was pleased (easily!)

Belle should stay out of things always meddling.  Her actions did get many people killed by the ogres it seems, but she still doesn't learn that trying to do the right thing never works out for her.  Not enough Hook and his one liners in here, though I'd wager that book title and the ep title was about him really!!

Once Upon A Time 5.16 "Our Decay" Review

                                               
This one was a bit of a hilarity, we jumped from the underworld to Oz, to Storybrooke, to Oz, etc as Zelena (Rebecca Mader) dealt with Dorothy (Terri Reeves) whom she thought was back in Kansas.  As she got hold of a CGI Scarecrow (Paul Scheer) cos she needed his brain and as we know from last season that was part of the object she needed to open the portal, what we didn't know, however is that Hades (Greg Germann) was part of the murkiness here which sort of disrupted her plans.  However she kept all that to herself whilst in Storybrooke.  Also what was the point of Hades retrieving the pages from the storybook when Zelena ended up here and told Regina (Lana Parilla) that Hades was in love with her.  Pointless!!

Ginnifer Goodwin) Snow and David find out from the witch (Emma Caulfield) at the diner that they can talk to Neal, at least they can "haunt" him and he'll hear their voices from ye olde Brit red phonebooth!  All she asks for is some living breath in a bottle cos it seals for a fortune!  Zelena has a green cupcake with a candle back in Oz, which she later tells Hades isn't for celebrating her birthday cos she doesn't even know when she was born.  No, she was just envying cupcakes and they turned green on her! Ha.  Actually she was celebrating when Cora left her and watched her through a magic mirror thingy when she abandoned her in the woods.  Then the scarecrow arrived for which they couldn't pay a real actor but they did for the voice!   But Dorothy arrived to save him.  Dorothy's grown up quickly, has developed a manly voice and even takes strides like a man too (see ep 5.18 with Ruby!)  Foiling her plans, she leaves with the scarecrow but the Munchkins don't know where she is.  A bit pointless again hiding out since we know from season 4 (and before) that scarecrow was doomed from the start, as was the cowardly lion and the scared Tin Man.

Hades arrives and tells his own sob story about having a brother who lives it up on Mount Olympus whilst he has a meagre existence having to collect souls in the underworld.  Jealous much?  They could exchange sibling stories til a new portal rears its head!  Why did Hades need a portal anyway when he could just blue smoke himself everywhere, as Zelena thinks he's trying to steal hers.

In the underworld Rumples (Robert Carlyle) was back at his spinning wheel cos his blood was needed to open a portal to Storybrooke, in which case why didn't Hades just use him and why didn't he use his blood to get Regina to open a portal without a curse in season 1.  And couldn't they use him to get back to Oz instead of Dorothy's slippers (see ep 5.18).

In Storybrooke we find Belle (Emilie de Ravin) feeding the babies cos the fairies couldn't and Zelena pretending to be the Blue Fairy (Keegan Connor Tracy).  She wanted to see her baby and even take her, but the portal opens and Belle is swept into it with Zelena jumping in after.  Zelena sprains her ankle and Belle wonders why the sky is red, and Zelena says she didn't open any portal.  Belle casually walking off with the baby.

Seems Belle doesn't recognize they're in Storybrooke and so didn't think of going to the apartment, but she went to the library instead, where she sees Rumple come out at the time.  Their meeting was only exposition on how he signed over his second child to Hades and that Belle was pregnant, though in reality don't know whys he didn't work this out herself!!  She be married now after all.  Anyhoo, he wasn't curious as to why Belle was left holding the baby again.  He also revealed he's the Dark One and has been for a long time.  He loves power, can't live without it and she can't make him choose cos he can have both.  He tells her she loves what he is cos he's not only a man but she also loves the beast within the man.  Which she basically knew since she met him.  She may have changed him, but he can't stay that way.  And he can't let the dark magic and the light magic overrun or combine together or something.

Hades takes Zelena on a bike ride on Dorothy's bike cos it was like 'Daisy Daisy give me your answer do' and he said he loved her.  The bike was spelled and took her right to Dorothy, camping out with the scarecrow who promptly had his rain snatched by Zelena and a moment ago in the underworld, she was bemoaning Belle snatching her baby!! Ha.  In the underworld Zelena asks why Robin (Sean Maguire) left their baby to come down here when he doesn't really do much.  Regina replying it's similar to how the people she hated were her family and they're all one big happy family now.  Trying to change Zelena with that speech wouldn't have worked.  Anyway they find Belle with the baby and Zelena also brought the milk bottle with her and wanted to bond.  With Robin bringing that to a close, how did he know the baby had enough milk anyway!!  Snatched the bottle from her!  Funny how her magic returned and then was taken away when she couldn't remove the rash from her baby, think Hades was behind that?  She gave the baby to Robin and he hid out in the woods cos Hades couldn't find him there, but he's meant to be aware of all their conversations and everything they do.

Henry (Jared Gilmore) has written pages in the book but he doesn't know how, he thinks they were written in his sleep as Regina calls the illustrations beautiful.  Is Henry really the author, didn't see him writing so much in his sleep, neither did the previous author.   Hades wines and dines Zelena in Oz cos he loves her and thinks he'll get true love's kiss or something, but she refuses cos he just wants her portal, which sounds rude!!  In the underworld he revealed that she always wanted what Regina had so he made this Storybrooke for her  but as they're in the underworld, it is all about the decay honey!  Nothing even grows here.  'Let's share the decay together!'  He also told her that her birthday is 15th April, he got that out of Cora before he peasant-ed her back!
Henry also gave Snow the pages showing they spoke with Neal and he heard them which was a relief.

Belle needed to face some home truths cos it appears she should have known what she was getting herself into with Rumples.  He was a beast and would always remain a beast, it was just who he was and quite frankly she knew the beast before she found out about the man so she must have had feelings for him then, not cos she thought she could change him and make him human at the same time.  whereas Zelena and Hades had no problems with who they were and what they wanted.
Note for later begging the question Hades tells Zelena he made Storybrooke for her and included everything here, which includes the sorcerer's house as it contained the storybook and his pages hiding his secret, why didn't he omit that.

Once Upon a Time 5.16 "The Brothers Jones" Review

                                                
Henry (Jared Gilmore) and Cruella (Victoria Smurfit) drive around talking the same thing again about how if he finds the quill and writes her alive, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) will no longer be a murderer, which he later tells Emma he knows she's felling guilt over.  Henry's met by the sorcerer's apprentice (Timothy Webber) who's still around here cos he's got unfinished business too.  Telling him that he can't rewrite anything but must only write the stories as they happen.  Henry thinking he can write what he likes, write how he wants cos he's the author now.  After much trepidation, or should that be repetition, he tells Henry the sorcerer's house is also here and he can find the quill there.

Emma was looking at Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) with sympathy and he said Hades (Greg Germann) took away his handsomeness.  She healed him but he didn't wanna snog cos he wasn't in the mood, rather he too was revelling in guilt, guilt over not being good enough for her.  Which was to be the theme of this ep.  That she shouldn't have saved him cos he's not worthy for her and well, let's see when he was alive he did nothing but chase her all through Storybrooke, Neverland and beyond, including when she was the Dark One.  His guilt also stems from the fact she as the Dark One was able to hold out on the darkness for so long, but he just buckled under and succumbed exacting revenge ASAP!  That was the nature of the ep being written like that and not by Henry either.

There's a knock at the door and brother Liam (Bernard Curry) arrives (incidentally let me say this now and get it out of the way, Liam is also an anagram for Mila!! Okay said it, funny how these names kind of go together, Lima his brother, Milah the woman he coveted and desired for so long, but couldn't get or keep.)

Flashback to Liam mentioning how their nameless and worthless father sold them into servitude but they have silver saved and will be out of their misery soon enough.  With the idea they can then join up into voluntary servitude in the King's navy!  Aye tis a better life on the high seas plundering for one's King and country instead of piracy!  Liam goes to enlist them, when nasty, smarmy Captain Silver, as in Long John, (Costas Mandylor) insists the drunken one stay behind, see demon drink was Hook's downfall even before he became a pirate and said captain also messes up their hard work of cleaning the deck by spilling some more poop on the deck!!  When he returns he finds Hook's gambled away his money to the captain who tricked him and got him drunk in the process too. Though not sure how much of that was actually voluntary on Hook's part.  Doesn't seem he put up much of a fight.  Just for that Liam has to stay behind with his brother.

Liam tells Emma that she's not good enough for Hook and she saved him when he had a hero's death and could'v gone to a better place.  Love means now't to him.  They get the idea that if they can find the storybook then they can find out Hades's plans and stop him.  Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) searches in the normal place but it's not in the suitcase.  So they have a look around the apartment with Liam and he tells her he'd prefer to see Hook in hell than with her.  Henry ends up telling them he knows where the book might be but they need the key to the house which is at the sheriff's.  Snow finds the key but Cruella returns for some "smooshin'" with James, so David (Josh Dallas) pretends to be him. After drinking and some snogging he realizes she already knew he wasn't James.  Unlike Snow who didn't realize how David kisses!  She tells him how James wants what he didn't have a mother's love.  he resents him cos David was chosen by his mother and James went to live in the palace.  Still waiting for David and James to meet!

Hades showed up where Liam tends bar, a bit like their father wasn't it, he became a barkeep too when he ran off.  Anyway he tells him he needs to get to the book and give him the pages about him from there, to which he has to agree.  So he's able to head there and open the door too since there's a protection spell, but it's cos Hades let him do that cos he also heads straight for the book and tore out the relevant pages.  It's also a secret deal Liam made with Hades.

Flashback to the captain leading them to the seas into a storm just to find the famous sapphire. Where Liam thinks the entire ship will be damned and the men too.  Thus he mutineers and the men follow. Hades is waiting for him below and tells him if he lets the ship into the storm, he'll let Liam and Hook live and also give him the sapphire.  He agrees cos they'd be doomed anyway.  He tells the others he won't give up searching for the book, a little too defensive.  Henry finds the quill.

Regina (Lana Parilla) tells Emma that she's too good for Hook and not the other way around.  Also at the house Emma knows Liam is up to no good and spots the ink on his hands which she tells Hook about, but he won' look cos he doesn't believe his brother is anything but honourable.  Well he's forgotten the old mantra, like father like son.  Also we had some banter with Emma and Liam about the ring that he gave her which was Liam's and cos he was in awe of his brother's honour.  Hook then looks at his hands, spots the ink which is a bit of a quandary as to why he had ink from the storybook anyway unless it was just written, which it wasn't but before they had time to do much arguing, the captain and the crew turned up for what Liam had done and wanted revenge.  Ending up at that cliff edge again and wanted them to walk the hell plank, but Hades whisked the captain into the hellfire instead, as well as throwing Liam down there too.

However Liam returned on a boat and a ship was anchored waiting for him.  He redeemed himself and he and the sailors could leave.  Hook still having his unfinished business to deal with.  So it was farewell to Liam and hopefully that was the last we see of him.  Liam telling Hook he was a much better man than him (forgetting he was a pirate and yes he did kill, including their father, which he neglected to mention).  Leading Hook to get back to Emma and have that well deserved snog he refused earlier on!  Ha.  Oh and will miss Hook's funny ponytail too!!

David tried to speak with Henry who was hiding out in a room that wasn't really his considering there were so many there and "acting like a teenager."  Was that cos he doesn't have much control over the storybook, or he tends to be forgotten a lot and then preached to plenty!

Hades we find was hiding a pic of him and Zelena together.  That was his big secret.  Not liking the fact that as an author Henry has no dramatic licence at all and can't just rewrite stories, instead of what is actually happening!  What promised to be an interesting ep from the title, didn't turn out that way.  Of course we know even if Hook was a pirate he was much better than his brother.  He actually felt guilt and remorse at what he did, but also he's a far more interesting character.  Anyhoo plenty of Hook bias from me!  Ha.  Hook: "Hades kind of knocked the handsome out of me."
Emma; "no one's that powerful"  Too true he didn't even lose the handsome when he was dark!!